Thinking of starting up? Don’t build an MVP.
You’ve got a wealth of knowledge. You’ve been in the corporate trenches long enough to see the gaps in the market. You’re now contemplating a ‘start-up’. By now, you’ve stumbled upon the idea of building an MVP to address the gap. Time to launch and scale the startup to a billion dollars?
Hold up for a second.
To start with, you need to make sure you build out a solid MVP.
But what does that really mean?
Here’s a simple definition:
“An MVP is the most pared-down version of a process or a product that can be released.”
Breaking it down, a minimum viable product:
– Has enough value that people are willing to use or buy it initially.
– Demonstrates enough future benefit to retain early adopters.
– Provides a feedback loop to guide future development.
In other words, it’s a build, measure, learn, loop.
But here’s the problem with an MVP:
Since the concept of a minimum viable product was coined, the world has changed rapidly. The market for products and services today are aggressively competitive. Customers, even early ones, don’t want poorly designed products or processes anymore.
They expect the world – and they don’t care if you’re just starting out.
Don’t have that ‘wow’ factor? You’ll likely not exist long enough to even get to raise your Series A.
That’s where the concept of a Minimum Delightful Product comes in.
Why the MVP model is not the first stage of the start-up:
The premise of a Minimum Delightful Product [or Process] is simple:
Marry the build, measure, learn loop of an MVP with phenomenal UX.
The hypothesis behind a minimum delightful product or process is just to delight a very small subset of end-users. It’s often the first step in the process of taking a product or service into the market.
The key difference between an MVP and an MDP model is:
– MVP prioritizes a build, measure, learn loop – testing.
– MDP prioritizes optimizing the product for UX [delight] rather than rapid iteration.
Both follow the “build only what you need” ideology but an MDP redefines ‘need’ to prioritize delighting the customer with a phenomenal user experience. This is crucial for a start-up launching today and it is often overlooked.
Because you only get one shot to make your MVP work.
Why not take out the guesswork to build an MDP first? That way you minimize the risk of landing in start-up purgatory, eliminate and reduce rapid trial and error, and remove inherent bias from the MVP phase.
Minimum Delightful Product in Action: The Story of Belongify
That afternoon, I sat across the table from Lorne who shared with me his rough idea for a start-up.
He’d named it Advanceward: a system to build more connected teams. After a long one-hour conversation, we had a plan.
For the idea to scale, Advanceward needed a demonstration that the process worked – with coherent data that the process was delightful for the end client and could drive results.
So we chalked out a plan:
Take the Advanceward framework that existed as an Ideation IP and convert it into a working methodology with a real client by carefully curating the end-user experience.
So we moved away from a minimum viable product to a minimum delightful process .
It started off simple:
- Lorne had only concepts that existed as a cumulation of years of his experience.
- It needed to be distilled down to a system or process in no more than 60 minutes a session, maximum of 5 to 6 sessions.
- The system needed to answer the question – could we foster a deeper sense of connection and create greater conditions of belonging within a team – remotely?
- By carefully optimizing the end-user experience with the intention to delight all the stakeholders involved across the entire process.
Then the question was:
- Will those 5 -6 hours be delightful enough to add immense value to the client and get performance results so that it can become a minimum delightful product – which then becomes an MVP?
As it turned out, the MDP Advanceward was a resounding first round success.
We then modified the MDP and improved the system while taking into account customer feedback. At this stage, the MDP now became our MVP, which then got tested again in the market and is now the scalable product that fosters greater conditions of belonging in the workplace known as Belongify.
Why You Need a Minimum Delightful Product [Process] to Test Your Startup Idea:
The fascinating thing about an MDP is how simple it is.
Because when a product is delightful it just makes sense. The experience can be tracked to be satisfying for the end-user. Plus, when you have this highly engaged feedback loop of great UX: you can get your idea adopted faster.
Create higher satisfaction and as a result better word of mouth.
You can acquire early-stage feedback before committing to a Minimum Viable Product with a simple goal: have users love your product and get enough feedback to get to the MVP – and have raving fans along the way.
With an MDP, you also save money.
Because you don’t need to invest in the expenses incurred with an MVP. For example, with Belongify we didn’t need an MVP: we just needed a working methodology and a client to set up a build, measure, and learn loop.
Take your idea from a napkin to an MDP:
Do you have an idea you believe can change the world?
With over 2 decades of experience in start-up and business consulting, I can help. Get in touch with me here and I’ll walk you through my purpose-built step-by-step system The Investigative Framework to get your knowledge-based idea from a napkin to a minimum delightful product that you can scale to an MVP.
Because here’s the truth: The idea to execution phase is fraught with uncertainty, anxiety, and second-guessing every single step.
But I promise you it doesn’t have to be that way.
Contact me today.
It didn’t come as a surprise when a VP of one of the fastest-growing companies asked, “Lisa, can I really talk about and promote my new thriller as an author, on LinkedIn, considering I am the head of security and fraud at my company? Another retired CEO of a publicly traded company, now sitting on multiple boards, asked, “Lisa, do I really need a brand consultant to build my personal brand?”
I quipped back, “No you don’t. You can make a million mistakes, throw spaghetti against the wall, and hope something sticks along the way. Or you can be strategic and intentional and hire someone like me with 20+ years of experience doing this to get you there sooner.”
Both had substance to what they were saying:
Wouldn’t it be so much easier to build a company and personal brand all alone instead of hiring someone else? Nope. Because the reality is, if you’re like most executives, you are insanely busy. What happens when you don’t have the time to do this all yourself?
You get lost.
You get carried away by the next big project.
And in some cases, you might even end up suffering from the shiny object syndrome.
But then, should everyone invest in a consultant? Not really, no. In fact, there are 5 types of people who should avoid consultants like the plague.
Who are they?
Let’s find out.
1) The Get Me A Million Views Quick Type
Building a rock-solid business and personal brand takes time. It starts with an audit that takes time. Then a lot of back and forth to get clarity on messaging, what story you will tell others; that takes time. Then a plan of action takes time. Then execution takes time. See a consistent theme? There’s no quick and easy way to build a brand online. If you’re looking for quick results, don’t hire a consultant.
Because no one can build an authentic brand in a day.
2) The I Know More Than You Type
Why even hire a consultant? Because you need help – and why do you need help? Because it’s overwhelming to do it all alone. It’s important to find the right resources to get the clarity necessary to help you attack brand building strategically. That’s why it’s key to understand that help often starts with an acceptance that you need it.
Remember: no one can help you if you don’t allow them to do what they’ve spent 20+ years being an expert at.
3) The I Don’t Have Time to Get The Basics Right Type
Every great branding exercise starts with a detailed audit. Because in this day and age, whether you like it or not, your company, and you, already have an online brand. How is it positioned? What do people feel and think of you when they see you online? Is the message you are saying what you really mean? A confused mind has to burn way too many calories to understand what you are trying to say.
A brand audit uncovers it all. That’s step one.
Remember: unless you have the foundation just right, branding is essentially a futile exercise.
4) The Low Money No Problem Type
Wouldn’t it be great if you could buy your way to a better brand, better features, and better traction for dirt cheap? Nope, it’s a recipe for disaster. Because money’s just a means to an end – and the end, is to build a brand that stands the test of time.
That’s not just authentically you, but the ‘real’ you.
You can get published on Forbes today, but is what you’re writing, publishing, and creating really what you stand for, believe in, and can vouch for? That takes deep thinking, strategy, and long-term alignment with who you want to be remembered as and how you’ve created transformations for others along the way. Experience doesn’t come cheap.
Neither does expertise.
5) The I Won’t Look Within Type
Unfortunately, in this era of incessant noise, we’re at a place where the loudest voice is often considered the most authoritative. Anyone can choose to be someone they are not. But not everyone can be brave enough to be themselves and SHOW UP consistently.
That starts by looking within:
How do you want to be remembered? What drives you? Moves you? More importantly, how can you make transform the lives of others? How can you add value?
Personal branding is never about you, it’s about how you help others. You are just the supporting character in their story. Unless there’s a commitment to work together to figure these questions out first, there’s no point in hiring a consultant.
In fact, there’s no point in building a brand either.
If you’re still here:
Congrats: you thankfully don’t fall within these 5 personalities who should never hire a consultant. That means you understand that building a phenomenal and ‘real’ brand takes time, commitment, and a lot of deep thinking.
Because it’s tempting to believe that the most important question to figure out is: who am I really? And what does my company stand for?
In reality, these questions don’t matter as much. They’re important, sure. But let’s be honest: no one cares why you get up in the morning. People care that you get up, you show up for them, and take them from where they are today, to where they want to go.
Value – and how you can add value to your audience.
Now you must ask yourself: how can I do that in a way that’s scalable and repeatable?
That’s step one.
Something I can help with. Working with executives around the globe for 20+ years, I know how to build a personal and employee brand from scratch. Looking to build one that’s authentically you? First, download this free whitepaper on what employee and personal branding are, what they mean, and how billion-dollar companies build and scale one.
Then, get in touch.
You deserve a brand that reflects who you really are. To leave a legacy behind built on stories others will share about how you made them feel for generations to come.
It’s your obligation to the generations now and the ones that will come after them to share your knowledge with others. It’s your duty to share the experiences you’ve had to make the path for others to thrive, easier. It’s your responsibility to show up.
Don’t settle for anything less.
Police Gang Intelligence Sergeant helping you build your warrior mindset for 2021!
10th-degree black belt, retired Fort Worth Police Gang Intelligence Sergeant, Richard Morris brings his stories and experiences about the warrior mindset.
Richard is the co-founder of Ziglar Blue with Tom Ziglar; Ziglar Blue is designed to bring hope and encouragement to our law enforcement and all of our first responder community.
As a respected member of the North Texas Violent Gang Task Force and North Texas Crime Commission, Richard’s point of view reflects the experience and astute judgment shared by the line of duty officers and their upper-level management.
This important perspective opens doors for better communication post-trauma and critical awareness in the field. Better training results in faster solutions and better relationships between officers and the communities they serve.
SHOW NOTES BELOW!
Good morning. Welcome to coffee with Lisa. Today I have a very special guest like all my guests. Today I’ve got Richard Morrison and Richard is an international Zig Ziglar legacy speaker published author, a trainer, a motivator a coach, and he is a warrior, a true warrior. Richard is known as the Grandmaster Richard Morris, who is a lifelong martial artist and has been teaching karate since 1971. He’s got a 10th degree black belt in American karate undergrad masters, Pat Burleson and Alan Steen. He retired in 2014. from Fort Worth Police Department’s tactical investigations division as the gang intelligence and Detective Sergeant after nearly 36 years, that’s an accomplishment in itself that you stayed alive. We’re going to talk more about that. But while on the tactical investigations division, Richard worked closely with the F WP D Homeland Security Intel criminal tracking human trafficking, SWAT zero tolerance division, Homicide and narcotics units only man This could be so Richard coordinated gang intelligence and gang detectives organized crime investigations including drugs and homicide case. Richard continues to serve work Fort Worth police department is a better member of the police support team and critical incident and stress management team. He’s a response commander for the Texas line of duty death Task Force. He serves as a reserve, Tarrant County Deputy constable and is the volunteer chaplain for several law enforcement agencies. You have an amazing career, Richard, but not only have you got this amazing warrior mentality, but you also founded Ziggler blue with the late Zig Ziglar son, Tom. So we’re going to be right back with Richard after this message.
Good morning, Richard. So did you share to your stream? I got to share the stream.
02:25 Richard Morris
Not sure I’m trying to find it didn’t pop up. Okay.
02:29 Lisa Patrick
So in order to do so I got to do is go to my my Facebook. And this is a great exercise. For those of you who are listening to happen to be guests on other people’s podcasts, you should really be forwarding your podcast to your streams. So go to wall if you are at the wall. Richard. Yes, Kate. Now you’re gonna want to say share and share over to your Facebook.
02:54 Richard Morris
We’re going to go all the way down.
You might have to start to say, the learner.
03:04 Lisa Patrick
I know she’d be at the very top. Oh, no problem. And so well, what Richard is doing that. So I’ve had just, I’ve had the distinct honor pleasure of actually meeting Richard a couple of weeks ago as part of the research to Jim Cathcart in my book called intelligent curiosity. Now, if there is anybody in the world that I truly in a law enforcement capacity, esteem to really hear more stories about it’s Richard, I mean, the we’ve had several conversations, some amazing stories. So I’m really looking forward to hearing some great stories from you, Richard, to make sure you get it shared.
03:45 Richard Morris
03:46 Lisa Patrick
Awesome. All right. Your great teacher, Richard. No, um, I don’t even know where to begin. So I have this conversation with this one question. What is a warrior mindset?
04:06 Richard Morris
A warrior could be a spiritual warrior, like a Billy Graham, it could be a social warrior, like Rosa Parks, for example. It could be someone who is willing to run towards the fire towards the gunfire, instead of away from it, which is what most people do. And so you just have to have a strong spirit.
04:28 Lisa Patrick
And so how did you know you in 1971, you started in the police service. So tell me why the police service and I know we’ve talked a little bit about, you know, your grant your father and his work in the military with General Patton, correct? Yes, yeah. And so did that play an instrumental role in your decision to become this fierce warrior in life. Tell us a little bit more about the backstory.
04:59 Richard Morris
Well, Sort of the police department in 78, but started taking karate in 71. But back, I was five or six years old, I started boxing. My dad was a professional boxer before he went into World War Two in a box with the OSS under General while bill Donovan, Bare Knuckle boxing, made enough money, because not happy we put money on him. And so I made enough money to pay cash for a house when he got out of the army. That was such a gentle person, you would never know that he was so tough. But I heard the stories those that he would tell he’s from the world war two group and they’re they keep pretty much to themselves. But he taught me how to fight since I was a young kid, five or six years old. I’m 64 now. And he said that two things. One, if you’re a Morris, you have to make sure your honor, the Morris name be respectable, don’t do anything that would hurt our reputation, even those that have gone before you in past. And he said another thing is what Morris’s do is we protect the innocent, we help those people that are getting picked on that or are getting hurt. So I just grew up with that mindset. I did the same with my children. And they’re both black belts and incredibly tough but incredibly kind.
06:21 Lisa Patrick
Yeah, yeah, I think I think you have to be incredibly tough clearly as the Morris is the Morris name. Right. But that’s the man you grew up with. It’s the mantra that you you give to your children. But you know, it’s one thing to think and grow up and be given that mindset, it’s clearly another thing to actually take action on it. And so walk us through some, you know, some of the early days of your career. And, you know, tell us a couple stories about what happened that, you know, got you to be where you are today.
06:58 Richard Morris
Well, when I was about eight or nine years old, Dad was just genetically incredibly strong. Yeah. And so when I was eight years old, I was breaking the not only the, the nut, but the boats on the bicycles. So he said, You got to quit doing that we can’t afford to keep paying for these expensive and we were poor. We didn’t have much money. Yeah. And so he said, come over here to the car. I’m going to change my tire. I want you to try this in this one because I know you’re not going to hurt it. Well, I broke two of the bolts on the car. So he said, All right. Number one, don’t ever hit your brothers in the face. As a matter of fact, don’t hit anybody in the face. Second thing is I’m getting you a torque wrench for Christmas. I just been strong. I don’t even try to be strong.
I just genetically, I guess physically strong. And so growing up but even though I had a loving mom and dad I I learned lessons from their parents, even though my grandparents were gone long before I was born. My dad’s father was a business merchant. And my mom’s dad was a Methodist preacher. He was an evangelist, a circuit writer, he wrote a horse with a gun on one side, because he’s also the town constable and had a bottle on the other. So we go to four or five churches on Sunday. And so I grew up hearing the stories, it’s important that we tell our children these stories. And even if they say you told me that before, that’s okay. I want you to hear it and tell them because this is your story to the backdrop. And so growing up even though I was physically strong, and I i’ve never lost a fight even as a little kid, I was a year younger than people in school. So what I found out that we were poor, I didn’t know that. And I didn’t know I didn’t think to compare it to. So I went to school, and I had an old us bicycle with a hard rubber tire. Because I wouldn’t get a flat. Yeah, but kids made fun of me because they had the bells and all those things. So I remember that. I would I would still see these big kids. So there was a boy that was almost six foot tall, was beaten up a little kid now I was a little kid. I was in third grade at this time. And I said you should leave alone You ought to pick on someone your own size. He says well how about I pick on you? I said I’m a little kid to go anyway, he started to fight me. I got him turned around, choke him out. And it says a lot because I did wrestling too. And my dad was jujitsu teacher in the army as well. So I learned how to fight on my feet on the ground. Teachers came in Polish apart and couldn’t believe that I here I am someone twice my size. I have been unconscious here on school grounds. I didn’t get in trouble.
But he did. I think he was afraid of me. I never got any more fights in elementary school. Same thing happened in middle school that’s in, in high school. I was already doing karate by this time. I started in 71. And I missed my first belt test because it costs $5. I didn’t know cost anything. Yeah. And we didn’t have $5. We could not scrape it up, because we were paying $18 a month for the karate classes, annoyed yards to help pay for the lessons. And I had went to the karate school, and Paul Smith is one of Pat burlison students. He was a brown belt at that time. That was a high bill. They could run karate schools, even blue belts, ran karate studios back then. Very few black belts in the United States. Yeah. And so I saw that signed me up there. And once I did, what a second day class. I was sparring with this guy is he’s a big, strong 18 year old kid. He’s blue belt. He was tough.
Yep. And he kept hit me in the face. And the teacher said, Richard, if each interface came back as soon as I can. So happened again. And he said, Richard hit him in the face. I said, I can’t. He said, Why can’t you I said, My dad told me not to hit him by the face. And then it looks at my bed. I looked at my dad, he nodded and winked. And I knocked him out. He was out for about 1520 minutes. So he says, I see now why you did.
11:31 Richard Morris continues
And so even in the karate classes, I was physically strong for somebody as small as five foot 335 pounds. This guy was probably 511 185. He was muscular. Yes. And I kept I studied karate. But when I started teaching the same year and the way that happened, there were not many kids in karate class. And Tad Burleson, at that time, did not want to teach children. And usually they were 1112 years old if they did come in. Yeah, so I would help him in 71, I started helping teach classes. I’ve only been in karate, three or four months. But I worked out five to eight hours a day, even then, especially during the summertime. And so I knew all the codons I knew all the things I needed to know I set a goal, found out how long it’s going to take to make it the blackville.
And if I did test it every time it was prepared every time I could make it in three years. Well, I had to wait the two months because I didn’t have the $5. And one day I was in class. Pardon me. I was paired up with Pam Watson. She was a black belt in her brown belt at that time, but her husband was the national champion on the front cover of the credit magazines. guy named Billy Watson. Right. And so I saw I see we’re supposed to kick each other and test I said, I can’t kick in the chest. He said, you’re better Mr. Burke’s, don’t come over here. So I didn’t have a choice. And then she looked at her husband and he went, he went to a thought, oh, gosh, that’s not good. Enough, not good. I wasted that time that I had the gift of invisibility, but it just didn’t have that. Yeah. So I start sparring with him. So to shorten this story, he kicked me so hard in the leg doing a sweep. A my leg was so frogged I couldn’t walk. But it didn’t matter because I was knocked out every block and both my eyes broke my nose and broke some ribs. In other words, he beat me up. But then while I’m on the ground, then he started fighting. This is horrible. And so I when I left that night, I hobbled to my motorcycle. I got on, and I cried all the way home. So because I love crying, I love helping teach, but I shouldn’t get beat up by somebody a great big national champion black belt. I was a blue belt. I just a little kid, still about five, seven or 835 40 pounds. So I said, Dad, I want a quick run. And he said Why? I says Well, I got beat up pretty bad today by Billy Watson. He said Billy Watson did that to you. I said Yes, sir. And they saw had broken nose. My eyes looked like a raccoon already. Yeah, my jaw was rattle. I mean, he really physically beat me up. And so he said, well, that shouldn’t happen.
He said that we just got to that black gi back then you couldn’t wear a black T and just your black belt. When since I was helping Mr. Brooks to teach. He gave me a black geek. And I had a black belt that came with a package. And he said put this on your wall, set your goals. And one day you’ll wear that when I didn’t tell him I used to wear it when nobody was around at home. I did not go outside with it. Not in the front. Yeah, I thought that was important for me to be able to do that. Yeah. So we get there and Mitch versus Richard. How can you run into You’re always here helping me teach. I said, Well, I’m quitting karate. He said, Why? As I’m quitting karate, and my dad said, Mr. Burson, could I talk to you? He said, Yes, sir. He said, Richard, if you only quit, that’s okay. And I’ll take the GI back. But would you teach class while I’m talking to your dad, I can’t just leave these kids out here. I said, Yes, sir. So as I was teaching, and he came out about 30, or 35 minutes later, and he’s standing there watching me teach, and by that time, I loved it. I love teaching. And he knew he knew that that would be the ticket to get you to stay. Right. He already knew that of you.
Yes. And so I never really found out until after my dad died, what they talked about, but yeah, but he came out. He said, Well, let me ask you, Richard, do you like teaching? I said, Yes, sir. He said, class. Do you like have Richard teaching class? They said, Yes, sir. He said, then From now on, he has Mr. Morris is no longer Richard. And so I was going to quit. And I also now teaching, I’ve got my own class, made $5 a class every class, they told me a little bit of money, but back in Sunday, 105 dollars is pretty good for and that’s a belt history.
16:19 Lisa Patrick
So how did you go from teaching in the karate school or karate and depending on who says it, but to actually being, you know, to gang? Like, I mean, you were part of gang is for a number of years. So how, like, walk us through the story of how did you go from there to there?
16:39 Richard Morris
Oh, by the way, you saw just a short aside, my I found out from Pat motion after my dad died. He said, Have you ever wondered what your daddy not talked about that day? And you first start teaching us that I’ve always wondered, he said, Mr. bolson. Don’t let him get beat up by these grown men.
Not until he gets some size on him. I don’t mind him getting hurt. But the girl mentioned me doing that. He said, but I want you to make a man out of my son. And so again, he wanted me to grow up, man. So when I made the, I thought on my black belt test was 1974 April, and I thought a professional boxer named Tex cop Randy tips calm, never been knocked out. Like George Foreman. Nobody ever knocked him out with a 12 or 15 rounds. But I’ve knocked him out twice and broke his nose on the belt. This was a time they called karate. It was the bloody era.
You know, a lot of there was a lot of blood, a lot of violence. On belt test, half the people may black belt, and half of them went to the emergency room. The other half didn’t. So I passed my black belt. And as I got to be 18, and then I graduated from school, I graduated school and I’m 17. But once I turned 18, I decided I wanted to somebody introduced me to a place called Spencer’s corner. It was a nightclub across in TCU, where a lot of teenage kids would go and dancer young college kids. And so I went there. And I noticed that there are people fighting and fussing and so forth. I thought, I think this is kind of kind of neat. I think I could do this.
The bouncer was a fellow Black over mine. He made black after I did. But I started working there as a bouncer bartender. And I know my dad. He thought it was okay. I’m sure mom wouldn’t very tickled with her dad being a preacher. And so I became a bouncer and bartender and I was in dozens and dozens and dozens of fights. George Bray, the other black belt. He was a grown man, and he was 642 40 a strong, strong. And these big old TCU football players would come up to him, said we’re going to beat you up. He said, Hold on a second. Richard, come here. Second. He said, and of course I smile all the time. I think my face is just shaped like that. I can’t help me. He said, Richard, these guys think they’re gonna beat me up. I said, who has a bad idea? And they George always said, You can’t even whoop Richard. I said, No, that’s right. And that really, so they fight me. And of course, that’s where I beat up so many of these big old football players. Yeah. But I met police officers there that were working at the job as a part time job part time police officer. And so while they provide security, I spent time with him and I really liked these guys. I’ve always wanted to be a policeman. And I thought that would be a good way that I can help people again, the Morris legacy, to love and help other people. And so I started writing the crap out of them.
19:51 Lisa Patrick
loving kindness. That’s right.
19:53 Richard Morris
At least placements have Oh my god, Richard, you know, we don’t learn anything in the academy. This is good. So I started doing Training police officers because I was riding in the police car with him at night when I wasn’t working or after I got off work. And so I started working on a lot of things. I found that some of the stuff I learned in the karate studio and I was taking Judo to at the same time, but a lot of this stuff wasn’t working, and in the fight, so I started, I asked questions about everything. And I said, Mr. Brooks, you want to do it this way.
He said, Shut up.
You know, it’s kind of it’s a common answer back in. Years later, I became Pat Rosen’s teacher and he said, Richard Verducci, kick this stuff. Where did you learn this stuff? I trained Bruce Lee, I trained with Bruce Lee, you, you have a greater understanding? And he did. I said, Well, first, thank you. But I don’t agree with that part. But I’m learning. And I said the second thing, he’d done it 32 years old, and I’m older than that. He said, Where did you where’d you start? I said, Do you remember when I asked you in class? Why don’t we do it this way? He said, I knew. I said, you remember what he said? He said I do? I said that’s when it began? I’m very curious, intuitive. I want to learn how to find it. So I started training place and then my Becky and I got married. By the way, I’m old fashioned. It’s may be hard for some people to believe this. But I never kissed my wife until after we got married. Oh, because she wasn’t my wife until after we got married. Wow. So I saw her one night I was a bouncer at the club. I was professional kickboxer. I was a full contact fighter kickboxer. For the four Texans in Texas gladiators trained with Chuck Norris and his team. He had the LA stars, and we would fight against them and others. And one night, I remember looking in the mirror and I started crying. And I said God, I think I need to do something different. I’m going out with too many girls and no I was my hair was long and I was a professional fighter. So I had a lot of girlfriends.
22:16 Lisa Patrick
I should you were the man that every girl should stay away with us stay away from because you were naughty boy that everybody wanted.
22:17 Richard Morris
But I was also very polite. I tried to always be gentlemen again, that Morris legacy. Yeah. And so one I said, God, if you’ll help me find the girl that I’m supposed to be with, then I will stay with her and protect her for the rest of my life. And will I want to serve you help me find a way to serve you. Which is good because I hadn’t been to church at that time. And about eight years. We we were kicked out of two churches because we were too poor.
22:48 Lisa Patrick
You met your you met your wife.
22:51 Richard Morris
So are so I looked down and I see a pretty girl look at me and smile. And I may have smile. I just do that but not interested. And all of a sudden, I see a face skewed over like this. I saw it from here up. And I heard a voice This is the girl that you asked for. You’re going to be with the rest of your life be good to her. Yeah, I knew then that was the one that my dad hit my mom there. But it was a drugstore that was a short order cook after World War Two. And mom used to come there went to teach they both went to TCU. And they met that the same place got married. So I go downstairs. I didn’t know if she was three or 400 pounds. I didn’t know if she had you know, hairy legs and hairy arms. I had no idea. And I look at her and I said oh Jesus, you are so good to make because she was just drop dead beautiful. And still is today. We’ve been married now over 43 years. And we’re just getting started we activations but on the way to nowadays right?
23:50 Lisa Patrick
You don’t see people making hell you hardly ever may see anybody make the 10 year mark, never mind 43 years.
24:00 Richard Morris
I tell you what, what I’ve learned is I do a lot of study and and one thing I find is that research, people thought well, half the people going to get divorced, whether you’re Christian or not. And really that’s about just about right, about half will be divorced within two years. Unless you hold hands together. And you have that intimacy without no other expectations, but to pray together every day. And if you do that, it makes it less than a one in 1000. That gets worse. And I try to tell all police buddies there.
24:34 Lisa Patrick
That’s the secret. That’s the secret sauce. Yeah,
24:38 Richard Morris
yeah. And like I said, She’s beautiful. I like holding her hand. Yeah, we pray together daily several times. And so I became a want to be a policeman and she said, It’s dangerous. I said, Well, if it’s my time to go, it’s my time to go regardless what I’m doing. I believe that God’s in control and so we dropped by the police department and I finished my application process on the way home from our honeymoon. And she cried and cried because he said, Ray, Karen just started to say, Well, you know, a lot of places we get killed, or several got killed the last couple of years, and more than half of them are divorced within six months,
and policemen in the 70s very different than it looks now.
25:25 Richard Morris
Like people with two people unconscious. Can’t do that anymore. Yeah. So I became a police officer. And within a few years, I began teaching at the Academy. And I started there officer survival program, I started wrest control tactics, several different things. Officer survival school, I was, myself in one of my fellow police officers started that way, it was copied all over the United States, the program. And so I knew that one is I better be a good husband. And second thing is that God did put me here, I feel like with all my heart to help and protect the innocent, including the police. A lot of I tell police officers in Texas, it’s against the law, to let and for a police officer to let an innocent person be injured. It’s in our code of criminal procedure. Yeah, but that innocent person, if you are so also includes a police officer. In other words, we violate the law if we don’t take care of ourselves. And so I try to remind people of that,
26:37 Lisa Patrick
well, then you had to had a conversation off set a couple weeks ago. And one of the things that really intrigued me about one of the stories that you told Richard was about the, you know, you’re in a fight, and we’re going to get to get to this story, but you’re in the fight. But at the same time, you’re respectful of the criminal. And that’s how you often you know, the way that your mind works in the moment is really a warrior mindset. And so you talk about, you know, that I would love you to share this story, again, about how there was a gang fight, and then you ended up gang ended up fighting each other, you stood back and watched it all unfold. And that to me, was just like, Wow, that is a warrior mindset, how do you really truly turn tables on a situation to the benefit without using your fists.
27:36 Richard Morris
So I’ve been studying the science of fighting for 40 years. Now, so I, I knew how the brain worked. I knew how the fight or flight mechanism work, how to keep the vagus nerve from causing you to, to go into a panic and there are several if you lift your shoulders up, your diaphragm doesn’t move, your diaphragm shifts message up, and you go into fight or flight. So just like this put you in a fight or flight response. But if you drop your shoulders and relax and breathe a little bit, it can keep you from going into that. So when I got into a fight, I’m pretty calm. It’s like playing checkers for me. Not that I’m tough. But it said I’m calm. Yeah. And I’m able to keep my wits about me. A friend of mine, Roy carbon is a 10th degree black belt and not degree in Taekwondo, both like myself, I am as well. And he I’ve known him for 45 years or so. And he said, Richard, I think the old Roy carbon would make this big destroy carbon up. I said, Well, that’s interesting. He said, What do you mean? I said, I said, This Richard Morris, old as I am, but absolutely destroy the old Richard Mars. He said, I said, I understand the science that makes it work.
So one day I was on it, I was at a patrol East Fort Worth. And it was rough. In that area, when I worked before resigning, I shot four times stab run over and hit by a car. And plus some people just downright mean to me. And this one day, I’m over by a convenience store called in because of a gang is threatening the people at the store. So I’m over there and the O g, which is the original gangster, he’s the old guy, you know, he’s the guy he’s not didn’t talk with just nods than the guys trying to earn stripes to try to get credit trying to gain right kind of like compelte rank and goradia military. So that that guy was loud and troublemaker. So he said, Ma’am, I’ll beat you up or something like that. I said, Is it really what you want? And I said, it may not turn out like you want and so he comes over there and I just go Why am I hitting and then I grabbed him by the neck and a holding up
29:47 Lisa Patrick
Now this is a gang This is a gang member right? This is right?
29:51 Richard Morris
Yes. He’s He’s one of these young gangsters trying to earn more stripes. I’m holding his feet off the ground. And this guy, he must have made a face we’re not good. He was unconscious. So what I did, I walked toward them and said, Who’s next? And then I threw this guy in the midst of all of them. And they, they bumped into each other and they started fighting. And they beat each other up. So by the time the other officers came, I was leaning against the wall and just relaxing. And they said, Are you okay? I said, Oh, yeah, I’m fine as these guys are. Seemed like you’re mad at each other. You see that twice in the Old Testament? Joshua, for example, you can see and judges.
And as you look, the Old Testament, that were people were literally devouring each other. And that’s what they did. And so I did that fight anybody that night? Oh, well, I did hit that one guy. But that’s not much of a fight. Oh, I have been in several 100 fights. But that was not one. But I was using intelligence instead of using physical force. Now they were impressed that I held him off the ground because he was my size. But it was the when people find that I understand how to fight and I don’t react and get I don’t start cussing. What happens if someone starts cursing, by the way 95% of fights begin with profanity. 95%. And so when they start cussing, a lot of times, they call that child because when are they Lieutenant Colonel Dave Grossman, a friend of mine, we’re writing a book called on fighting together. He said, he wrote on killing on combat and civil others.
But he says that it’s like the puppy dog brain. So the when you’re in a fight or flight mechanism, you’re not using your forebrain you’re using the, the the ancient brain, the some people call it a lizard or reptilian brain, but it’s, it’s it’s certainly not the front prefrontal cortex. So what happens is, if the police officer or any other person starts arguing, too, they both escalate, because they both are like children. So if someone’s angry, or drunk or just out of control, you cannot talk to them and make sense. You’re talking to a child in your town.
32:12 Richard Morris
But what happens is a police officer tries to talk to that child as an adult. And I talk to them as a child, you know, you get these big SWAT guys guys have been Delta operators. You know, I’ve trained a lot of those people. But you see them when they had the canine dog, they look tough, they have a beard, then you can make the cut off at the higher pitch causes them to calm down. So I talked with a little higher voice I and I talked to them. Very simple, be nice. Not stop, I do not yell at people in the fight. Again, that gets me up here with him. So now we’re both children. And we end up hurting each other. But once you talk to them, you can get them back. You could get them but yeah, Lisa,
33:02 Lisa Patrick
I know that you have a number of stories to tell us a story where that really took a highly escalated moment where you’re, you know, you’re intelligently curious about how to defuse the situation, using this warrior mindset, the science of fighting. How that is?
33:23 Richard Morris
I’ll give you one example. What am I off? I trained a lot of police still. Yeah. And never missed a week of teaching for 50 years. I really love this stuff. It’s almost 50 a few more months. But I was teaching class and Jose Duran, one of my officers. He’s a fourth degree black belt. He said surgeon Morris, you remember that time this great big guy, he and his wife were fighting and you got the call with me. And we went up to the apartment, you remember all that? I said, Well, I don’t know. I’ve said I’ve had a lot like that. He said, Well, this guy was standing out on the balcony, and he was at least twice your size. And you just quietly walked to them walked up to him and said, Sir, now look, we are on the third floor. This balcony, it’d be a long ways for you to fall. And if you don’t call them down, I’m gonna throw you off this balcony to her. And he’s kind of ships here. They do.
They shake their heads like sparks will pop in their head. And he said, I said I do remember that. And so we went inside and talked. And he said and one thing that impressed me about you Sergeanhoulders and prayed. I said I do remember that. And I’m known for that because People know me for understanding the science of fighting. But I also understand the science of peace. And you cannot be you have to use violence to sometimes bring peace. When Jesus said, Blessed are the peacemakers, for they should be called sons of God or children of God. It doesn’t say peace enjoyers, we all enjoy peace. Bt Morris is we got there. You brought call because you don’t yell and scream and I don’t know he’s a language. I used to I was I could make an 18 syllable word out of two syllable word. Not a sign of high IQ. But But we he said when we laughed. Remember we all got together, put our hands in each other’s sut the police officer or the military, sometimes they have to use force to protect the innocent, and then bring peace in that way.
Why connection matters, not just in the design of the fashion.
Kathleen designs for the famous.
She cares for the less fortunate and anyone who crosses her path. But does she even like the design?
Join Lisa and Edmonton Global Women of Vision, Edmonton fashion designer Kathleen Todoruk.
Kathleen tells her story about how she worked with Lady Gaga, how purpose plays a role in every interaction from design to relationship, and much more… Kathleen discusses why it is so important regardless of the industry to ensure that there is never a lack of connection to customers in both heart and product.
More about Kathleen: https://www.Todoruk.com
In our digitally connected age, we can lose sight of the importance of connection.
Bob Donnell, human Behaviorist, founder of Everything Next Level, and author of Connectology joins Lisa to talk all about the power of connection.
Bob deep dives into questioning and how the context of your question will lead you to more profound answers.
How being present in the moment and at the right time, will provide an opportunity to be vulnerable and open the door to great conversations.
Bob shares a story about how he got a stranger to open up to him and ultimately gave the stranger the greatest gift of closure for a failed father relationship.
How changing the meaning of conflict can change the outcomes we receive and so much more.
00:01 Lisa Patrick
Good morning. Today, I have the Bob Donnell on with me with Coffee With Lisa. Bob is a human behaviorist who’s been invaluable in assisting companies all over the world, including their teams and individuals about how to reach the next level, both personally and professionally. Bob’s worked with celebrities and leaders in all types of industries, including the military. And we’ll be right back with Bob, in a moment
00:45 Bob Donnell
I see you, I see you. There’s one thing that’s more addictive than crack cocaine, heroin or any other substance put together. It’s called connection. When you’ve really had a connection, just nothing else will, will satisfy. When you’ve had somebody that looks inside your eyes and says, I see you see, so often in life, we’re just walking and giving motions and giving glad hand gestures. And Hi, how you doing? What do you do? Look, when you ask a bad question you get what? A bad answer. If you want deeper connection with people, you’re gonna have to learn to ask better questions. What you do just won’t cut it.
01:57 Lisa Patrick
Hi, welcome to the Coffee With Lisa podcast, I believe that everyone in business has missing structures, and endless possibilities to create new opportunities. The challenge is most don’t know how to leverage the relationships for win win. I believe that your relationships will make the difference in the results you’ll achieve the impact you will have and the speed in which you will make opportunities happen. I believe that you can see things through, but you often struggle to see through things. I’ll make the invisible visible, the complex, simple. Because of these beliefs, I created the coffee with the sub podcast, I’ve invited the best experts to join me and share their experiences and knowledge with you. So you can move faster and gain a competitive advantage in life and in business.
02:47 Lisa Patrick
Well, Bob, just before we had our out, before we open the show, you talked a little bit about you know your work with intervention,and working with first responders all over the world. But let’s talk a little bit about Bob, where where’d you grew up? Bob, you grew up in Southern California in the San Gabriel Valley. moved here when I was two, and I’ve lived there lived here most of my life. And what did you aspire to be when you were growing up?
03:15 Bob Donnell
Yeah, that’s a great question. And I was asked that at age 15 and a half my mom was diagnosed with cancer and was given six months to live. And a gentleman came up and I didn’t know my dad. So I’ve never had any any knowledge of who my dad is. And this gentleman came up to me and says, Hey, Bob, what do you want to be when you grow up? And I? I kind of, I was like, Why? I don’t know. But why are you asking a 15-year old that winning? Because you know, you can learn a product service or an industry. Or you can learn one thing that delivers value to any product service or industry. And I said, What’s that, and he said human behavior. He said, Bob, if you understand why people do or don’t do things, you’ll be successful. And you’ll be valuable to any product service or industry and as well as Sign me up kind of facetiously. And he said, Well, then go become a peer counselor at your school this year. And so at 16, I became a peer counselor. And that set me on a trajectory of really studying understanding human behavior and then founded a nonprofit organization at age 19. Working with suicide prevention, crisis intervention, so you asked, What did I want to be when I grew up? I really had no clue. I mean, I probably thought football police officer or something, but at 15 and a half, there was a complete change in it. You know, it was a it was a fascinating thing that that gentleman asked me a question at 15 and a half that you normally, you know, would answer police officer answer something off the cuff.
04:40 Lisa Patrick
Yeah, yeah. And really, truly, I mean, that was the start of you know where you are today.
04:47 Bob Donnell
04:48 Lisa Patrick
Yeah. So you’ve had you know, I’m, we’ll talk a little bit about you know, you’ve had a lot of tragedy in your life. You know, like, a horrific amount of too much tragedy for me. One person to really endure. But I do believe that we’re given these experiences in life, whether they’re good or bad. Because we can we are given what we can handle. And we got lots. What’s your thought about that? You know,
05:15 Lisa Patrick
I think I agree, I think we’re given what we can handle. I think at the time, you might ask, you know, Bob, can you handle losing your daughter in a car accident, witnessing the accident, I would have said, No, um, you know, or any of the things that you’ve you’ve kind of alluded to in, one of the things I found is that, and I talked about this a lot called price paid, I think the events in our life, become the price that we pay to become the people that we are today, some of us have taken the price that we’ve paid, and made it an investment. And we’re returning and we’re expecting an ROI. Some of us have taken it and made it an expense. I just challenged people to take their experiences good or bad, and put those together and put them in an investment category where you look for the ROI. And I think when we do that, we begin to see differently, you know, people can have the same exact set of circumstances you don’t get the you know, the old adage of, you know, two young girls growing up in Chicago having bad parenting bad everything. One becomes addicted to drugs, guys have an overdose one becomes Oprah Winfrey, what’s the difference? One, use that as a reason. Because of that, I will never do that one used as an excuse because of that. I’m a drug addict. So I think when we start changing the meaning to things, you know, the Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, when we start changing the meaning to things, we begin to change the outcomes.
06:41 Lisa Patrick
Yeah. And when you see that so often, because you’ll see children have addictive parents or abusive parents, and you think, to yourself now growing up and you you’re engulfed in that your entire life, when you become an adult, you’d think that the behavior would change, because you wouldn’t want to adopt that behavior. Because you know, how it feels?
07:02 Bob Donnell
07:05 Lisa Patrick
Most often that’s not the case. Right? Like, truly at the at the core of that, why do you believe that to be? So?
07:12 Bob Donnell
I think one is the, you know, the short answer is a lot of people would say, Well, it’s because they don’t have the skills, the tools? Well, I didn’t have the tools either. And a lot of people didn’t have the tools, but they develop the tools. And so it became a sense of urgency for them to create a set of tools that worked for them, instead of against them. Yeah, they have tools, the tools are just not working for them. They’re working against them. So I think short, the short answer is they don’t have the tools yet. And they the bigger answer, though, as they have not created a sense of urgency about creating the tools so that they can master those environments in those situations.
07:50 Lisa Patrick
And do you think that they don’t have the resources to find the tools? I mean, that would be a crazy thing in today’s day, right? Like considering how much knowledge is out there? Or, you know, what, what do you think else prevents them from not really stepping up?
08:06 Bob Donnell
I really think it’s a matter of what I was talking about the sense of urgency. You know, it’s like people who say, you know, Bob, I’m a procrastinator, and I’m working with them on a behavior. And I said, Well, you know, if you’re a procrastinator, and that’s the identity of women, yourself, what happens when you’re sitting on a curb? And a car jumps? The curb is coming at you, you move? Well, yeah, why you’re tired, you’re exhausted you, you’ve been up late all night with the kids, we move, Okay, I’m gonna run over a greater sense of urgency will always determine a greater sense of action. And so when somebody’s still and sitting still, it’s typically because they are in a bad behavior, and they’re staying in that bad. It’s because we haven’t created that greater sense of urgency. So I teach people a couple things. One is ask what if you do and what if you don’t? What if you do change that behavior? Or that mindset, or that idea, that thought process? And then what if you don’t, and then play the tape really, really long? So don’t go well just won’t make as much money? No, what if you don’t make as much money? Well, then I won’t have what I want. What is it that you want? Well, I want to have a nice house and I want to be able to provide security for my family. So you want to provide security premium? That’s what’s at cost if you don’t get it. Oh, yeah. Okay, that’s, that’s bigger than I don’t have enough money.
09:18 Lisa Patrick
Yeah. And sometimes I think people just need to need to obvious pointed out to them. Yes. You know, you can’t see that’s an old cliche if you can’t see the tree through the forest. Right.
09:29 Bob Donnell
Yeah, I think one of the challenges with that is it really boils back down to that whole thing of power of association. You know, next level by association is a program I’ve offered for over 10 years. And the bottom line is, if you don’t have the right Association, that’s going to call you on it and pointed out to you and say look, that that thinking is skewed or that thinking getting you the results, or as Dr. Phil says, how’s that working for you? When you when you have people going, how’s that working for you, Bob? Yeah, well, then you can do it. But if you don’t have the right associate I think there’s probably one of the biggest things that challenge people today is that they don’t have the right Association. They’re getting by with all kinds of bad behavior and a lot of bad things that aren’t helping them.
10:12 Lisa Patrick
How does? You know? I think that’s a great segue, because how does urgency fit into connecting into making a connection?
10:22 Bob Donnell
That’s you know, I love that question. Because I think one of the biggest things that, that people struggle with in connection is they don’t understand the purpose of connection. So they go to a networking event, they go, Hey, how you doing? What’s going on? What do you what do you do, and they don’t really have a game plan, they don’t have a strategy. And so when I talk about strategy, I’m talking about a criteria. So I have a criteria for everyone in my life, personal or professional, strategic partners, clients, or, or otherwise personal people. And because of that criteria, that creates a sense of urgency. So for me, when I talk about sense of urgency, in connecting, what is the purpose of my connection with Lisa today? What is the purpose? Is it for me to get information out? Is it for me to receive information? Is it or is it to help her reach an audience in a different way than maybe anybody else has helped to reach an audience. And if that’s my purpose, then that helps create that sense of urgency. So when I walk into a place, if I’m if my mind is just there to get coffee, that’s one thing. But if I walk in and go, you know, who can I connect with in a meaningful way, while I’m standing in line at coffee, so that they literally feel like they’ve been seen, that they’ve been heard, and that they have value on their life because of something I said, or the way I related to them, then that changes that sense of urgency. Without it, it’s just another another errand to run?
11:47 Lisa Patrick
Well, and you said a couple of things that that sparked my curiosity. So first, you know, I think being intentional intentionality in connection is so important. And I think, you know, this being strategic Yes. But being intentional about what you’re doing, even just as, or maybe even perhaps more important, what do you think?
12:08 Bob Donnell
I think intention becomes, is the first part of that. So I think we go hand in hand. Without it. I don’t think intention does anything. It’s kind of like the Bible talks about without faith, faith is dead in its own. So Faith without works is dead being alone. So it’s the same thing without intention. The criteria isn’t going to be met. And without criteria, intention is going to be fulfilled.
12:33 Lisa Patrick
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, so tell me tell me a story. Because I love stories. And stories are always the best right? To tell you a story of a time when you went because we’re talking about networking when you went to a networking event. And when you walked in the room, you made an immediate connection with somebody walk us through how did that ever happen? Because I know what a bob, I’ve heard so much about you, over the years from so many of our colleagues that you have this charismatic aura about you and connect people just connect with you automatically. So walk us through, you know, a time when that happened to you. What was that like?
13:16 Bob Donnell
Well, I appreciate the kind words and you know, I think one of the things I give you an example of maybe not a networking event, but just any event it is imagine .. I can
13:32 Bob Donnell
it goes back to that intention. I was sitting in a coffee shop sitting in the Starbucks. Yeah, yeah. And I think I talked about this a little bit on my TED Talk. So you can go back and listen to more in detail. But I was sitting in a Starbucks, there was an empty Starbucks, which is rare, right? in Southern California. But it was, you know, seven o’clock at night shift was over, everyone was, you know, kind of doing their thing. And there was maybe three tables in the whole Starbucks full. And I’m sitting over on a bench seat with my back to the wall and a table that literally led right to the window. So there was no place to sit to the right of me except one spot. And you got this whole thing. A gentleman walks in, young man walks in with a girl and they walk up to the counter and get in and out of the whole place. They come and sit within two feet of neck. And I’m like, why would they sit? I mean, this whole place is empty. And wow, whatever.
So I just was sitting there doing my work, and I could hear the conversation. And I could hear him say, Well, thanks for coming, you know, picking me up. I wish all my stuff was still here. But when I went in, I didn’t you know, I didn’t think any of my friends would steal all my stuff. And he’s all tatted up. I mean, clearly, gang gang, gang member and he’s talking about his, you know, his gang and some of the people and And all of a sudden, I just I became attuned to what he was saying. Mm hmm. And the mention that he when he went in, when he got out, and all of that, and I think one of the things is to be to be present to a conversation and or be present have a sensory acuity, if you talk about NLP have a sensory acuity about what’s going on around you, not to eavesdrop but to be present to it. And I think one of the, one of the things I teach is the quality of your connection will be determined by the quality of questions you ask. Yeah. And that’s in Connect ology. So I think one of the things was I was sitting there going, Hmm, interesting that he’s choosing this dialogue with me so close to him. And so I just turned to them. And I said, you know, can I ask? Where did you just get out of? And he looked at me and kinda was like, and friend was, Why are you talking to us? And he says, just got out of jail. And I said, I assume what, which Which one? And he’s kind of looked at me. And he told me and I saw, I said, Well, you know, the reason I asked is because I know, you know, My son has been in and out of jail. And, and so I’m always curious as to the situation he goes. So it goes back to talking. And I think the quality of your connection is determined by the quality questions. Yes. But I think you have to ask the right questions at the right time. Um, and you have to make it, make it apparent to them why you’re asking the question or, or they won’t answer. So I said, I said, Can I can ask you another question. No. What were you in for? Now, what I had done was I had laid the foundation by telling him that my son had been in Yeah, by doing that, it opened the door for him to say, Well, okay, he’s not just trying to pick on mean, his sons at that same situation. So he said, He’s, well, drugs. And I said, what was the drug of choice?
He told me, I said, Okay, I sit down. It’s been sitting there still going, why are you talking to this guy? And he’s like, what are we Why? And he says, he told me the drug. And I said, Well, I said, So is this the last time? And he looked at me, like, he looked right at me. And he goes, No. And I go, how come? He says, because I make a lot of money. Doing it? Yeah. I’m not willing to walk away from the money. And I said, Hmm. And I know some of the audience people right now are going well, that’s just that’s stupid. That’s crazy. But how many things Am I not willing to walk away from? As of the benefits side benefit, negative, even positive benefit that we we get, we’re what unwilling to walk away from that behavior. And I said, why I said, You know, I appreciate your honesty. And and then I went to this next question. See, I think, I believe that a good question begets a better question. Yeah, start with a question that they can easily answer. Then it opens the door for a better question. So the next question was the depth. And I said, you know, what are your mom and dad say about this? What do they think? And he said, Mom and dad, he was, well, my dad, or my mom. Last time I talked to her. She said, um,
18:35 Bob Donnell continues
don’t even don’t even bother coming to my funeral. And I said, How did you respond? He said, I told her, I won’t. And I should. I should, but when that happens, do you think you’ll be there? He goes, Oh, yeah, I’ll be there. So I said, What about Dad? He says, My dad, my dad said, I don’t even have a son anymore. And I said, I am really sorry to hear that.
And he goes, Oh, it’s no big deal. I said, No, no, that is, that is not true. It is a big deal. And no man has a right to ever say that to his son.
19:21 Bob Donnell
And he just looked at me. I said, you know, can I give you probably the greatest gift you’ll ever receive in your life? And he said, Sure, I said, but you know, you have to receive it. It won’t do any good if you were sitting in the Starbucks, but remember, it’s kind of empty, so nobody’s there to listen to him. I said, you know, can I can I just the gift I want to give you is I want you to you may never, ever, ever, ever hear this from your dad. You may never ever talk to him again. I don’t know. But you’ll never maybe hear this from him. But I want to tell you as if I was your dad, I want to tell you this I am sorry that I ever said that to you. I want to tell you that, above all else, that I failed you as a father when I made that statement, and I asked for forgiveness, because I truly am sorry, that I ever said that to you. And I said, If you receive that, if you’ll just let that sink in. And you find it in your heart ever to be able to forgive him for that, that failure. And that moment, it will be the greatest gift that you’ve ever received. And I said, but you know, I just got asked, Are you going to receive it? And he just looked at me, and he just went? Yeah. Wow. And I think it’s those moments, you know, it can be in a coffee shop, it can be at a networking event, it can be whatever.
But when we take the time to be present to our surrounding, when we take the time to ask good questions with an open and honest heart without judgment. You know, I’ve seen this over and over again, with the politics, you know, who do you vote for? And you’re not asking to find out who you’re voting for? Or why they’re asking because they want to prove you wrong, or they want you to be on their side. And I think one of the biggest things, when we ask questions, we have to ask questions, because we really want to know, not because we want to convince them otherwise.
21:24 Lisa Patrick
Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, so did he ever have? Did he ever follow up with you? Like, did you exchange information or not?
21:33 Bob Donnell
knowing what’s in that situation? It wasn’t, we stayed. I mean, literally, it went for, he wanted to keep talking. So we talked for like, minutes. Yeah, I finally had to go to another meeting. So I sleep but I was like, Oh, my gosh, this guy went from absolutely closed off, didn’t want to talk to wanting to work. And I think that’s one of the cool things is when we open ourselves to, to understanding another person’s position in life, we literally open ourselves to a greater understanding of not only them, but ourselves, but also a greater understanding of the world around us.
22:07 Lisa Patrick
Yeah, absolutely. Well, and as you and I were talking about me, I consider that being an eligible receiver, right, when we’re when we make ourselves in algebra receiver to what’s around us, and that we’re open to looking more at the edges of the situation rather than what’s in center of us, right of us. Great things can happen. Right. And, and that’s the perfect story of exactly that. That’s what happened. You know, you talk, you know, it’s, it’s interesting, because as I listened to the story, I watched, in my mind, I can see that the progression of trust that occurred, it went from a place of you opening up and being vulnerable in the moment, right? To allow him to be to understand that that’s acceptable, that you can now be vulnerable back and I think people miss that in connection, do you agree, but it is about a moment of vulnerability that really does open the Segway, and the flow for so much greater to happen.
23:11 Bob Donnell
Yeah, agree. Agree. I you know, I love what Bernie brown talks about vulnerability, right. But I also love after everyone claimed about vulnerability vulnerability, she came out and said, You know, I believe that you need to be vulnerable with, with people to the degree that they’ve earned. Yeah, something to that effect that I’m misquoting. I think that being vulnerable is a huge caveat for people having a deeper connection. But you want to have vulnerability with a person at the level that they’ve earned. And you don’t just go out and spill your guts and tell your whole life story. But more have that ability to be vulnerable in that moment, even if it’s just a sense of vulnerability, like, Yeah, I know what you’re saying. Yeah, I yeah, I get that. Totally. Yeah. Yeah.
But your level of empathy right now. Yes.
24:05 Bob Donnell
I think you’re right. I think empathy and vulnerability go hand in hand. Yeah. And yeah, so I love the idea of vulnerability. I just caution people on just what their what their thinking is vulnerability is really just guilt into trying to get off their own chest. And in that case, the intention isn’t pure. So it’s not going to be received as well.
24:29 Lisa Patrick
Yeah, absolutely. And I think that’s the thing too is people are so worried or not worried but are so self focused and not because they have a self fulfilling prophecy but that just is naturally it’s innate within us to be you know, want to share our story share what we what we need, right? And it takes practice to be able to step out of that and you know, Dr. Tony Alessandra, business partner, my man, I know, no, Tony. You know, it takes practice. To practice the Platinum rule, and that is feed the behavior, and it’s not about giving up who you essentially are at the core. It’s really just about adapting so that the message that you’re that you’re gifting somebody else, and I say gift not giving. is received. Yeah. Really important.
25:21 Bob Donnel
25:23 Lisa Patrick
Oh, if you’re tuning in, and you don’t know what the Platinum rule happens to be it’s treat others how they’d like to be treated not to be treated, which is a lot about sensory acuity previous. So walk us through, what’s the process to become more sensory, aware? What is it that you use?
25:46 Bob Donnell
I think one of the biggest things I use is, it goes back to that intention, why am I here? What what’s my real purpose in being on this on this interview? What’s the real purpose in being in this networking event? What’s the real purpose? For me being in line at Starbucks? You know, we’re the meaning. I alluded Dr. Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for me, when we change the meaning of something, we change how we respond to that something. Yeah. And then it can be changed for good or bad, right. But I think the first thing is just have a have an intention, or having a meaning attached to what it is that you’re about to do, then I think it’s really about saying, Okay, can I be present in this situation? There are situations that make it very difficult to be present to another person, right? You’re in a crowded room, people are tugging at you. Or maybe you just got done speaking, you come offstage. And now you’re 25 people asking you, right, and it’s like, okay, it’s tough to be present. And, and so I think you have to be really intentional about that. And then you have to have really firm boundaries, enabled to do that. So one of the things I’ll say sometimes when I’m speaking on stage is I’ll say, you know, I’ll share this story. And then I’ll say, you know, so if you come up to me afterwards, and you’re standing there waiting, just realize that my attention is not going to be on those people standing there around me, my intention is going to be on the person I’m talking to. And I’ve learned that from Garth Brooks, and I’ve learned that from Joel Osteen, I’ve learned that from jack Canfield, the brilliant of being present. And I think one of the things that is being intentional, the other thing is being disciplined and having boundaries enough set up so that you can be present, and then positioning yourself in a place of presence so that you can actually be there, ask a question and wait for a complete response. And then again, going back to Am I asking you a question to learn RMA asking a question to speak. And when you when we change that, it always boils back down to that meaning What’s the meaning of this conversation?
The meaning for this conversation has to be bigger than myself? Or it’s just, it’s just limited to me, it has to be bigger than even you, Lisa? Or it just is a conversation? Can we have a conversation with meaning I, I held a meeting online, we had over 200 people online about three months ago. And I put it out to some of my friends. And I just said, Look, I just want to talk about this whole racism thing. And I just want to talk about, you know, Black Lives Matter. Yes, Black Lives Matter. I want to talk. I don’t want to talk about the movement. I want to talk about the conversation. And so I do this under the conversation matters platform that I do. And we had over 200 people and it’s been distributed to all kinds of organizations. Now it was two hours long. It was only supposed to go what 45 minutes right now. And it just kept going. We had people like Tommy Baylor who wrote She’s out of my life for Michael Jackson co produced We Are the World we have people like urban Raphael, who is the one of the heads of the Genesis motor Corps.
We had cassette was good and Corey miner both played in the NFL, we had amazing people on this on this call. And they shared their their feeling about it. It’s when we put ourselves in a place where we can have genuine real conversation, a conversation that matters, that we begin to ask better questions, we get to begin to get better answers. And a connection is really, really formed to a degree that is is never formed without some intention to it.
29:14 Lisa Patrick
Yeah, absolutely. Jeffrey riddles on and he says he thinks computers have dealt our senses and scattered our presidents. What’s your thoughts on that?
29:24 Bob Donnell
But you know, Jeffrey, I appreciate the comment. And I agree. I mean, it has, but it only has if we’ve let it so pewter didn’t do it. Computer didn’t wake up when they say I’m gonna just really interfere with this, but it’s our allowance of that. And so that goes back to one the next level pillars I teaching it says whatever becomes acceptable becomes inevitable. Once we make something acceptable, it becomes inevitable. And I’ve had that happen with all kinds of different environments. People that I’ve worked with on human behavior staff standpoint, and you know, I’ve had people come and say, you know, Bob What you know, I don’t know what to do I keep gaining weight, losing weight, gaining weight, losing weight, and so well, when did it become acceptable to be fat? Now I said fat on purpose, I said it to jar them away from what they overhear, they always hear and that’s overweight, whatever it is challenged. And so she just looked at me and says, it’s never been acceptable to be fat. You know, Lisa, it is so funny. But every time I ask the question, what does it mean acceptable to be broke? Or when was it acceptable to become in an abusive relationship? The answer is always the same. Never. Oh, no, the moment of acceptability. And I said, let me play. So I told this lady, I said, you know, for example, when was last time that you took something out of your closet to where it didn’t fit. And so you put it back, and you reach for a looser pair? She was this morning. And I said, Thank you for being honest, I understand that. I said that. That was the moment of acceptability. She’s why and I said, because you didn’t reach for another looser pair, you didn’t reach for that pair of pants tomorrow. or the next day, you went and said, I’m not going to go through that embarrassment. Again, I’m going to reach for another pair that I know is looser fitting, and you did that the next day.
And then that became acceptable to wear a looser pair of pants. And she. And I said, so just what do I do? She’s What was I supposed to do wear those pants that were so tight. And I said, Honey, the tighter the better. The tighter the better, the more uncomfortable you feel in that place, the less likelihood you’ll continue in behaviors. Tony Robbins talks about so you know, you got to get uncomfortable. jouett Oh, man. And so I said, you know, when? When did you start wearing baggy pants? And she goes, I don’t really know. And I said, When was the what was the youngest age that you ever felt like an older gentleman, or older man looked at you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable? Again, quality of your question determines the quality of your connection. She said, Wow, I never thought about but probably when I was 15. I said, explain. She was walking through the mall with my mom who was very, very large breasted. And I was developing and we walked and I saw a man look at me longer than he looked at my mom for the first time as well. That wasn’t the first time but as first time we recognize it, I said that also wasn’t the last time was it just no.
And I said so you felt uncomfortable shoes. Yeah. So what do you think would be the natural inclination? She goes? I probably Yeah, she was probably within a year I was wearing baggy clothes. And I said, there you go. She goes. Well, so what do I do about that? I said, Well, you made the ball for men not to look at you. That’s why you start wearing baggy clothes and not putting makeup baseball hot or whatever you did. You made it acceptable. For now, do you want a relationship with a good man? Do you want a relationship with a man who adores you loves you and cherishes you? She’s Yes. And I said, then you have to make it acceptable for them to see you be attracted to you. Love you. And she wouldn’t let them tear your pants on baby. Oh, yeah,
33:07 Bob Donnell continues
yeah. And so all we did was I said, just just put a little bit of makeup on this next day. And just, you know, take the ball cap off, and just wear a little bit tighter clothes, not not tight, but just not not just like bags, and shoe. Within six months, she had an amazing relationship. She had dumped several pounds. And she felt so much better about herself. And it was because she goes what’s the what’s the mystery behind that I said, Because whatever you becomes acceptable becomes inevitable, good or bad. It becomes acceptable for a man not to look at you becomes inevitable. It becomes acceptable for a man to cherish you and love you and becomes inevitable as well.
33:52 Lisa Patrick
Yeah. Well, and I do believe you know, complacently we have choices right and complacency, you know, will breed this problems that you have. And so it’s interesting, you know, Kathleen Todoruk hi, Kathleen says that and love yourself as well. And and I mean is an amazing fashion designer here locally in Edmonton, and some of her designs are phenomenal. But so very true. You need to love yourself, because if you don’t love yourself, how can anybody else love you?
34:23 Bob Donnell
34:23 Lisa Patrick
Every call. It’s a difficult choice. You know, we have choices in our lives. So, you know, I mean to ask you, I’m going to I’m going to say some words and a little game with you. And I’m curious to see your response to the words. Okay, so the very first word is sacrifice. Okay.
34:48 Lisa Patrick
Let me give you my word. Sacrifice means to me that you’re willing to do something for yourself or for someone else. That is could be possibly construed as, as maybe not even beneficial to you. But you know that the outcome is beneficial as a whole, and then it’s going to be beneficial.
Do you believe that in every relationship in order to make a deeper connection, there has to be at some level a sacrifice made?
35:31 Bob Donnell
35:33 Lisa Patrick
No, I do to 100% Yeah. Okay, so the next word is going to be belonging.
35:43 Bob Donnell
belonging, you know, I think for for belonging for me is that no matter the most, hermit type of style for people, the biggest thing is my TED talk you alluded to is that it, we all have a sense that we want to have a sense of belonging, even if it’s worse to a small group of three people, we want a sense of belonging. And I think belonging is one of those things where we have to, we have to, again, be willing to make it acceptable to belong. And that come that comes with the unfortunate part is, and the fortunate part is that comes with also being willing to be excluded. And you have to be applying for membership. And in applying for membership in this, that group, that society or that click, or whatever it is, you’re trying to, that application can be denied. And so there’s vulnerability in that, that I think that leads itself to a greater sense of belonging to the right groups.
36:50 Lisa Patrick
Yeah, absolutely. So tell me a time. Because of course, like I said, I love stories. So tell me a time, Bob, when you either felt a great sense of belonging, or you didn’t belong?
37:05 Bob Donnell
Hmm. Well, you know, it’s interesting, because I was raised by a single mom, as I talked about before, and we moved a lot, I went to six different high schools and over 20 different elementary and junior high schools. And so there was always this element of walking into a school, being the new kid, and not feeling like I belonged. Um, people say, wow, that’s, that’s a really tough situation. Well, it was tough, until I learned a behavior that allowed me to, to develop an ability to ascertain whether someone was for me or against me in a really quick order of time. And in that process, it’s enabled me to do so many great things in my life, because I can go into a situation and quickly ascertain who’s with and who’s against, and then be able to develop the right relationships in the room. So that that was one, those were a lot of circumstances where I just did not feel like I belong walking in a school, new kid, you know, maybe sometimes it would be in the last two months of the school year. All the relationships are formed everything. But I can tell you one that really stood out to me, Jim Rohn, who is a great, great gentleman that I learned a lot from. He when he passed, I was invited at the last minute. Hey, Bob, would you like to come to Jim Rome’s Memorial?
And I’m going to Yes, yes, I would love to. And I was I was seated right behind the front row of the other guest of honors that were there to speak on behalf of Jim Rohn, which was like Denis Waitley. Tony Robbins, you know, just amazing, all these great, great people that have so much respect for. And I sat there and I was literally within arm’s distance of all these great speakers and mentors that had mentored me in one facet or another. And I left their lease and I left and I called one of my good friends, Wesley, and I said, Wesley, I just slept this, this memorial for Jim Rohn. And he goes, wow, what was what was that like? And I said, I literally sat there, and I felt like, I belong here. Wow, I’ve been long here. And I said, these were all people that I’ve maybe I’ve met them in the past, maybe I haven’t, but I’ve listened to theirs, you know, CDs or whatever. I admired him I read their books, but I literally felt like I belonged. And Lisa, that was a pivotal moment for me. I thought, what get what gave me a sense of belonging there versus someplace else. And so I did some analysis on that, but it was really, really interesting. And that moment, I felt like I truly belonged in that in that room with those people,
40:06 Lisa Patrick
I have goosebumps. That’s an amazing story. So what did you and Anna analyzed that? What what? What gave you in a room full of strangers in many ways to you know, you were that real true sense of belonging?
40:24 Bob Donnell
Yeah, you know, the, the analysis that they came up with was I started asking myself again, what’s the question? Right. The question is, why did I belong there when I don’t feel like I belonged someplace else? And I said, what was it the people? Was it the atmosphere? Um, and then I realized that the greatest thing was, yes, the people were great. They’re gracious, they’re loving their hands down. The number one thing was that the the purpose of us all being there was to honor Jim row. Yeah, that’s crow. You know, there’s a great quote that says there.
41:04 Lisa Patrick
Say, the common thinking of it. It’s like a tension, right?
41:08 Bob Donnell
Yeah, is that like, you know, anything doesn’t stand a chance to win, there’s a common enemy. And the common enemy being loneliness, or the common enemy being, you know, afraid of fear any of those things. If you have more people in the room, that with a common enemy, they tcan overcome that enemy. And the thing there was, I just sat there, and we were all there for one purpose. That was to honor Jim Rohn. You know, Denis waitley, did it his way. Tony Robbins did his way. And it was interesting to watch all these people that had all these experiences with Jim Darren Hardy, and see them have a different relationship with Jim. And at the same time, they were all there to share their stories about Jim. And, and I got to meet Kyle Wilson that night, and Kyle, and I’ve become really good friends since then.
He was Jim Roan’s business partner for 18 years. And just the people. I mean, some of those, like I said, some of those relationships have have been in my life now since that night. And we wouldn’t think that that would be a place that you would actually meet, you know, and connect with people. But the connection was because we were all there for the same thing. We weren’t there for me. Kyle wasn’t there for him, you know, that we were there to honor Jim Rohn. And I think that was the biggest thing that I took away from that. And so then I look, when I walk into a room I go, what can I find in common with someone? And then that is one of the catalysts to have a deeper connection.
42:46 Lisa Patrick
What an amazing gift that Jim gave you from the grave?
42:50 Bob Donnell
Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Yeah.
42:55 Lisa Patrick
Wow. Like I’m, I’m just sit like that is probably I asked that question quite often. And I have to say that’s the most profound of an impact that that’s had on me of a story of belong. Incredible.
Thank you for whatever question for you. So as, as you and I were talking earlier, Jim Cathcart night, we’ve just finalized and sent to the publisher, our book called intelligent curiosity. Very exciting. Well, you know, Jim, and I’m, you know, he’s an amazing man, amazing human being, as you discussed. So tell me what you believe intelligent curiosity is? And how does it play an active role in creating connection?
43:41 Bob Donnell
You know, I love the title one. So, congrats to you and Jim, because both of you, I can tell will bring some great synergy to that subject. I think you know, intelligent. Those two words are so, so interesting that you pick those but I think that the idea of intelligent curiosity, is it’s one thing to be curious. It’s another thing to be curious with an intention of going we go back to that intention, right. So when I look at intelligent curiosity, I think, what is it that I want the outcome to be? What do I want to learn from reading this book? What do I want to learn from the conversation with this person? Who do I want to be on the other side of this? That intelligent curiosity? Being able to say, what is it that I want? And then with questions can i formulate so that it my curiosity is met? And not only that, but it’s exceeded? And so intelligent curiosity is being intelligent, being smart about the questions and then mate, knowing for sure what that outcome is that you’re looking for, so that you make sure that you ask the right question at the right time with the right person. And intelligent curiosity. What a great topic love that.
44:57 Lisa Patrick
Well, and it’s about seeing more, right. It’s about that taking action on more. It’s about, you know, a good friend Merle neurol Hodge, and he’s the running back for the Pittsburgh Steelers. And he wrote a book called way. Right? I don’t know if you’re with it or not, but or his story. But one of the things that he taught me in a coffee with Lisa show was that in order to really see more, do more or think more, you have to be an eligible receiver. And and he’s a perfect example is your running back. He’s not in the huddle of the situation. He’s on the on the edges, he’s on the outside waiting to be a receiver of the ball and that particular situation, but when you look at things differently, and you’re intentional about it, and like you said, you ask the right questions, you will be on the edge as an eligible receiver giving getting the greatest gift of all, which really is more knowledge more of something that you’re intentional about. So thank you for that. How does it play a role in making a connection?
46:03 Bob Donnell
I think people want to know that you genuinely care about the question you’re asking, and that there is a reason behind it. And if you start just firing off questions, they don’t respond well, right. They feel like that’s a machine gun approach, and they don’t like it. But if you start asking questions, I believe, like I said, a good question, we get a better question. If I walked into you, Lisa, and and walked down the street and says, Hey, would you like to have sex? I’m probably gonna get slapped. Right? So that’s your inappropriate words, you have to have the quality of your question has to be in alignment with the the level of relationship currency you have. And so that relationship, currency has to become first. But if I want to begin, I said, you know, and we started dating, and all of a sudden, then we got married, then that whole thing becomes a different thing. Why? It’s the same question. But it becomes under different relationship currency levels. I think a lot of times when people are asking questions, they don’t have the level of relationship currency that’s required for the question they’re asking. So the answer always becomes No. And I do a lot of sales training with people, they ask the wrong question at the wrong time, that they don’t have the relationship currency for and then when the answer is no, they Oh, well, that didn’t work. Well, sure it didn’t. Because you just asked for snacks, you know?
47:18 Lisa Patrick
Yeah. And I think too, you know, you interesting and with you the sales, you know, I sat in many sales, sales meetings, and I’m not talking about sales meeting, as in, you know, buy my product I’m talking about, you know, you’re selling your ideas, you know, everything is the situation, right. I think one of the big, I think two of the biggest things that people mistakes, people make one, they’re too busy talking, as opposed to listening. And listening in hearing is two different things. When you hear somebody say something, when you’re not present in the moment, which you talk about, you actually technically aren’t listening to what they’re saying, in order to have a great conversation and have and foster a deeper connection, you really have to listen and be present in the moment like you talk about. And that’s really where great questions come from. So from a sales perspective, I think people are so busy chit chatting about, you know, everything else, but really paying attention to the other person. And when you start paying attention, the other person, definitely things, you know, will evolve from that.
48:18 Bob Donnell
I agree. And I love what you’re saying there. Because, you know, I just had a great example of this. I was at Costco recently. And the whole mass thing and, and I picked up on something Costco asked everyone, when you walk into a store this you need to have a mass, you have a mass, Costco, reframe that same question, the same statement, but they said, Do you need a mask? Would you like a math rather than a demand? It was a question. And then people would go, Oh, no, I’ve got one. Or people would be like, Oh, no, here, let me pull it up. Just the reframing rather than you need a mask? Do you need a mask?
Well, and it is so important framing of the question will determine it’ll be more likely to get you the outcome you want.
49:10 Lisa Patrick
Well, and it’s brilliant, because what Costco has done is they’ve allowed you to allow the individual to have control over the choice. Right? And I think that’s really important, right? is when you allow winning, control, even have the conversation. Many times though, the questions that you ask, they don’t realize that you’re actually controlling the conversation. That way for sure. So I’m going to end the show, because it’s an hour show with one last question, and I’m dying to know, how do you handle conflict in your life?
49:49 Bob Donnell
You know, I came to this resolution many, many years ago because of my board of directors when I was 19. And my board of directors, I might say College of psychiatrists marriage, family therapy. Sargent necrotic, Villa county PD, I had this great work an attorney. And they really infused in me a lot of everything that I know about human behavior from that board of directors. But I learned from them that conflict in itself is not is not bad, it’s a good thing. So again, attach meaning to it, you get a different outcome, I realize that conflict is good, a match does not get lit, lit, or a knife does not get sharpened by butter. They only get sharpened by something that’s harder than themselves. Friction can produce an amazing result when you learn how to harness that friction. And so I’ve one as friction conflict is not bad in my book.
Two is how can I harness this conflict so that it produces a better result? It produces the match being lit or it produces the knife being sharpened? I think so one changing the meaning of conflict to is to say, How can I ask a better question? How can I use this to become better? How can I use this to say, who do I need to become in this process? You have a conflict with your spouse, we have a conflict with your kid or you have a conflict with somebody?
You know, can you ask the question that? How can I become a better person out of this, so that when I leave this conflict, I’m better. And I think the military, you know, I’ve had some great interaction with US military and I am so honored by the the opportunity to spend time with our military overseas. And you one of the things that I just believe that their goal is to and this is gonna hold be political, there’ll be a lot of people that disagree, and that’s okay. But their goal is to leave a country better than than it was to leave and have something stay in place. Well, it doesn’t always happen. And, but the goal is not to go in and destroy everything, the goal is to go in and do something of value for mankind or for the country or whatever, for in the future. I love the fact that, that when you change why you’re there, why you’re in the middle of that conflict. It just produces a whole different result than if you just go into the conflict for the sake of fighting. And there are people that will literally fight. So let me just cap off with that. And I feel like somebody wants to just fight, I don’t engage.
If somebody just wants to fight I’m not gonna engage, I’ll just let them say their piece and then move on. I have boundaries, well enough, affirmed that I don’t need to have a conflict. But if I truly believe that there’s a value in that conflict, for them for myself. I’m all in. And I think that goes back one of the next level pillars that says, any minute that you and I are less than our absolute best. And I mean, our absolute best. The world is operating from a deficit.
52:59 Lisa Patrick
Wow. Yeah, very true. Very true. And I think I think, you know, he talks about, you know, it’s a choice again, How does accountability play in the role of resolving the conflict?
53:15 Bob Donnell
But again, I don’t, the accountability part for me is, I don’t necessarily believe that it’s my responsibility to resolve the conflict. Again, the meaning of the conflict, far exceeds the, my responsibility to resolve the conflict. I think there’s some conflict that can be can be of great value left unresolved, and for people to challenge themselves with. So I’m not always looking to resolve a conflict. But in those situations, the accountability for me is, am I being true to who I am? And am I am I giving extending grace, unbridled grace to people who have a different opinion than me. And when we operate from that, I think that the the world begins to operate from from a benefit rather than a deficit.
54:14 Lisa Patrick
We’ll recently on my other podcast Culture Uncorked, I interviewed Garry Ridge, and one of the things that Garry Ridge talked about. So for those of you who don’t know, Garry Ridge, the chairman and the CEO of WD40. And one of the things he talked about was, regardless of the situation or the circumstances that you find yourself in, everything is a learning moment.
54:36 Bob Donnell
Amen. Agree. Amen.
54:39 Lisa Patrick
I agree. I would agree. So I would say that that in itself is really how I want to close the show, that everything is a learning moment, this entire hour has been a multitude of learning moments. And so I want to say thank you, I appreciate it. And God bless.
54:56 Bob Donnell
Thank you. Appreciate it, and God bless as well.
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Expand Your Unconditional Happiness.
Create new possibilities and better results than you ever expected, when you transform your thinking and creating a powerful life through some simple steps.
Sherry Gideons is a mother of four, grandmother, and fun-loving force to be around. A transformational keynote speaker, bestselling author, spiritual teacher, life mastery consultant, health and wellness expert, and expanded woman business network founder. Sherry has 2 podcasts and live shows, The High Vibe Nation & Expanded Woman Network Podcast along with over 30 years of experience guiding individuals and groups to living better health, greater happiness, and peak performance.
ABOUT Sherry: https://sherrygideons.com/
SHOW NOTES BELOW!
Welcome to the coffee with Lisa podcast. This is the podcast show for you folks. If you’re looking to have some fun, you want to find a better way to grow your business, you want to get released new relationships, dig deeper into life, have a better life, tune into that frequency of greatness and be the most important thing that you can be distinctively unforgettable.
In case we have another pleasure meeting, my name is Lisa Patrick, and I’m your host and I have a really special guest today. But before I introduce Sherry to you, I have a few things that I want to talk about. First of all, we go and set we go live right here coffee with Lisa, several Facebook pages LinkedIn, and YouTube. So we I don’t ask for any money, any sponsorship. But what I do ask is that you help us grow our audience and sharing is caring folks. So please help us out grow the audience. Let’s help others. Today on the coffee with Lisa, so show. So Sherry Gideons is my guest today.
And she is a strategic thinker. She is a mover and a shaker. And she’s got a survival story for us that is unlike anything I have ever heard of before. I have met a lot of people in my life, but nobody Have I ever met that is a survivor like Sherry. So I want to introduce Sherry welcome to the show.
Sherry Gideons 1:34
Thank you. Oh, my God, thank you for having me.
Lisa Patrick 1:36
Absolutely. I you know what, tell us a little bit about yourself, where you come from, I know you’ve got books, and you’ve, you’ve been a master life coach for years, you’ve coached thousands of people across the country and the globe. But who is Cherie, tell us a little bit more about your story, Sherry?
Sherry Gideons 1:54
Well, I am a person who loves people for who they are. And really my life story is all about coming to that realization in myself. First, I had to figure out how to love Sherry first, and find out who she was, and what her higher purpose and calling is. And what that is, is to help people of all ages, tap into their own greatness, raise their frequency in the now and to really be happy.
Lisa Patrick 2:26
Yep. And you know what you said something very, very pertinent. before the show started, we were talking about possibilities and opportunities and some of the things that are happening with COVID. And, and opened the eyes for people. But you said in the now and that’s really kind of important. Can you tell us more about what you mean by in the now?
Sherry Gideons 2:47
Well, I get to realize yesterday is over and tomorrow has not yet occurred. And the now is being aware of how you’re being in yourself. Because so many of us as human beings are unconscious, and aware that what we’re being is putting out a vibe, that five turns into a vibration. And that vibration extends into a frequency. Everything in the universe is sound waves, its music, it has its own tone. And when we’re being from a feeling within ourselves through the moments of moments, throughout today, we’re pooling to us an experience, we’re pulling to us an environment, and that environment is the effect of the cause of what’s happening inside of us. And we ask that question all the time as human beings, we’re like, Why do these things always happen to me?
Sherry Gideons 3:48
Yes. And that’s our habit, our habit, so much of that is unconscious to us. So as a result of those habits, we’re pulling experiences into the now that are a mirror of who we are a mirror of who we’re being. That’s what I mean by living in the now.
Lisa Patrick 4:08
Yep. And so what happens if you look in the mirror sharing, you don’t like what you see?
Sherry Gideons 4:13
Well, you have to be willing to take baby steps because I call it pockets of time in the mirror and you don’t like what you see, it’s just like brushing your teeth, or in the habit of brushing your teeth. What does it do it it serves you it’s a habit that keeps your gums clean, and your teeth performing for you and it stops bad breath. Let’s put it that way.
Lisa Patrick 4:38
It does and you know when be virtual, I just had this conversation the other day we were in a conference and I said the greatest thing about being in a virtual conference speaking or attending is no bad breath.
Sherry Gideons 4:51
Yes. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. But the point being is is that when you recognize You know that there’s something in front of you a mirror if you don’t like yourself. And then you got to change that belief, you have volition, you have choice. And the first step in all of that is realizing that you’re mighty moving power, that you have this, this oneness, this essence, of magnificence, that’s within you. And so take a moment to shift that around. If you don’t like yourself, look at yourself in the mirror. And start simple by saying, You know what, I love you. You’re amazing. And take that habit every single day and grow it grow its power, planted seed and water that seed through the moments of today, daily walk into the bathroom, you go to use the bathroom, you look at yourself in the mirror, and you say, Hey, you, I love you. You’re amazing.
Lisa Patrick 5:56
Well, it’s those tiny little affirmations of yourself, right? Like to help you keep a little nudge forward each and every time. And I think, you know, a Larry would probably tell us, he’s on the show right now. Hi, Larry. Hey, Larry would tell us. Thanks, Larry. I know, we know. We’re rock star there. I think the biggest thing is, is that I think we should take off and would you agree with this, and I want you to tell me more about this. We need to take tiny bite sized nudges, towards making those changes so that when we do look in the mirror, we’re happy with what we see. Because happiness at the end of the day, I mean, we only have one chance at life. And if we’re not happy, then we’ve got to make change the story. And we are the narrator’s of our own story, right?
Sherry Gideons 6:46
Heck, yeah. I mean, we’re literally the actresses, the actors, loosers, we’re the directors, we are the ones that are creating this reality, this experience for ourselves. And, you know, let me take you back to where it all started. For me, I started in the building industry. And you know, I came up during the evolution of the 80s, this industry competed all over Europe, came back to the US. And the industry was really getting its start for women. And, of course, you know, the beaten path. They wanted women to have more muscle. And so of course, in myself, I had this belief system that I had to be perfect, that there was something wrong with me. And that was my habit, my program at the time. And so as a result of that, what happened was, is I began to follow what others said I needed to do to be true to me, which was use steroids. Eventually, I went in from steroids to drugs.
And before I knew it, I was 78, between 78 and 87 pounds, couldn’t even see it was a lifeless skeleton. And I was asking the question, so many of us asked, Why am I here? What am I meant to do? What is my purpose? And then the typical questions so many of us ask, Is this all there is to life and pain. And it resulted for myself in a near death experience. But that near death experience, as Lisa said earlier, one, it opened me up to the realization of who each and every one of us is that I’m not just this one special person in this universe of human beings. All that and every single one of us has the power, we’ve been given this power, but we need to understand how to use it rightly, in a way that serves us.
Lisa Patrick 8:41
Yeah, absolutely. I think i think that a lot of people get scared and confused and worried, not so much worried, but don’t know how to tap into that power and how to really use it is a lever in their in their life, right? How do they amplify their life? How do they tune into that higher frequency of greatness? So what would be some of you some advice that you would give because you’ve worked with a lot of people, you know, you’ve taken them from here to here, and I don’t want to talk about in business, I want to talk about life, fulfillment, happiness, that’s the goal, right? So you have some steps to mastery of doing that. So let’s talk a little bit about that.
Sherry Gideons 9:22
Well, part of it is is to really get clear about where a person is first in themselves, because if a person is in, you know, fear, and they’re struggling to get out of worry, or they’re in resentment, you know, what I would call slower vibrations.
Lisa Patrick 9:41
Sherry Gideons 9:42
And, and, and really, it’s first to identify, you know, we create a list, and we identify, on the page, what some of those things are happening on a regular basis inside of you. You know, whether it’s self worth issues or what have you, you have to be willing to get Clear and take accountability for what’s going on in yourself. And a lot of times unless you sit down and write those down, you’re unaware unconscious of some of those states of being. The other is to identify all the things you like about yourself, what are the really true qualities of you? And how would you want to be that more? You know, if it was a perfect world and a perfect you? How would that you be? If it was already true? Now? It takes clarity first.
Lisa Patrick 10:33
Yeah, yeah. But I was speaking with a good friend of mine yesterday, and we were just talking about getting that clarity about, you know, what your story that you’re telling yourself versus the reality of the situation, right. And we, we craft our own stories, and lots of times those stories, I mean, I know I’m guilty of this all the time, and I have to take a step back and think, Okay, wait a minute, is this the story I’m telling myself? Or is this the reality of the situation? And and it’s tough to do sometimes, because you can’t, you know, emotions get involved? And how do you filter through to find that right? frequency, that vibration? That makes the most sense? So what are some ways of doing that? Sure. Like, we know, give me some advice on how do I try to filter that friend or that right, vibration?
Sherry Gideons 11:23
Sherry Gideons 11:24
Well, you know, like anything else, when you’re living in the now let’s go back to the now and not letting things take root in your mind? It starts when it shows up. See, we our mind is like an operating system and a computer. Yep. And what happens when viruses come into a computer,
and they duplicate, duplicate, and before you know it, it’s bogged down, you’re not getting out on the information highway, like you used to fast and quick. So the key here is to stop it in its tracks. But it starts going back to the beginning. It starts with the desire, you have to have a desire in yourself first, to grow and be this person that you actually came here to be. And so one of the things that I do is, if anything shows up, oh, you know, why is that person not calling me back? What was that tone that person used with me was not rating or what have you. And instead of going there in that moment, and reacting from the same vibration that’s showing up, because here’s a key real quick.
When we react from a slower vibration, anything that doesn’t feel good. If we react from that same slow vibration of negativity, guess what, we get more of that we attract more of that, because we’re pulling to us what we are. So if we’re from that frequency of slower vibrations, what’s showing up in the now is mirroring to us more of that.
Sherry Gideons 13:03
So what I do is, I imagine blue light coming from my lower belly button. That’s called what I call Christ Consciousness energy. Okay, what we want is this blue energy like an arrow to come all the way up to our crown and hold it in our crown, this energy, this beautiful blue energy. So instead, what happens is the blue energies coming up here comes a slower thought, not good enough, not worthy, I’m pissed off, I’m mad, I’m angry. That’s bringing energy. And that green energy wants to stop that blue energy from coming up to the crown. And it wants to curve back down to our root chakra, which is all physical world energy, that we’re we’re energy. And what I do is, I say, I know your real name. This is the green energy. I know your real name. If it’s a person, place or thing.
I see it in front of me. I know your real name. You are love, return to your original position. I’m telling the blue energy go back upward. Yeah, return to your original position.
I love you. I love you. I love you. Thank you, thank you, you know, sharing of goosebumps and until I have goosebumps because until I met you, there’s only ever been one other person in my life that talks about the chakra and energies and crystals and, and you know, vibrations and this whole world of really understanding this spirituality as well. is so fascinating to me. And and that’s why really, today was the day that I I think that the role the line that we should have met and when we talked Behind the scenes, you told me something about some work that you’re doing with Dr. Joe. Let’s, let’s talk a little bit about that. Can you explain who’s Dr. Joe? What’s his mission and how are you working with him so people get an understanding of what’s happening in your world.
Sherry Gideons 15:17
Okay, so his name is accurate, actually, Dr. Jeffrey fan and Dr. Dollar Man was the scientist with Dr. Joe dispenza. Okay, and so, Dr. Jeffrey Fannin, what he does is he does, he registers our chakras. And so we all put out energy, we are all what we call particles of white light.
Lisa Patrick 15:44
So I just want to interrupt so for those who don’t know what a chakra is, can you explain what chakra is. So we all have an energy system and the chakras that start from our lower where we would call in our pubic bone or at the base of our sacrum, which is lower base of our back and that is the root chakra. If you pull the energy up, it goes to the sacral chakra, okay, which is right below the belly button above the belly button is the solar plexus, right at the heart is energy. Now this is all energy that is free flowing. And if it is not free flowing, it’s stuck and closed off based on the states of consciousness and the feeling emotional states were being from. So moving up to the heart chakra, it goes to the throat chakra, the third eye, and the crown chakra.
There’s other things that come into play with all of this, like the thalamus gland, which is right here at the base of the back of the neck. And a lot of that plays a role with our cellular system and what’s going on in our cellular system. But getting back to what Dr. Jeffrey Fanon does, what he does, is he registers we’re all putting out energy through our whole body, and we put out energy through our fingers. So he has this really, really powerful expensive equipment that registers from each one of our fingers, the energy now, then what he does is he has a whole mapping system that has these electronical waves. And he does three different tests. And these tests are one he has read from a book that is, you know, a study of scientific study, he is able to determine, you know, are you focused? Is information fragmenting from the front of your frontal lobe to the back of your brain? Are you distributing information from the left hemisphere and the right hemisphere? But what does this tell him?
Sherry Gideons 17:46
What it tells him Is it tells him one, what your vibrational system is showing right now, where you’re at in yourself, your aura, you know, what kind of energy are you putting out into the field, which is what we could call The Universe we could call Infinite Intelligence. And basically, it’s showing what you’re vibrating and what you’re putting out frequency wise into the field. But then what it also does is it shows you where your chakras are, and I’ll give you an example of myself. Okay, should my root chakra was perfect, my next chakra, it showed my sacral was over to the left. What does that mean? That means about me as I’m a Go, go, go go go or I’m, I’m a shaker. I’m a mover. But I give away all my energy in that area. But it moves up to the next chakra is of my self, it shows that I’m highly gifted, very telepathic, that I’m extremely intuitive that I you know, have all these spiritual gifts. Yeah. But here’s the thing. We don’t really have to do anything. We are one with this infinite intelligence, we can call it God. We can call it our higher power, we can call it the universe. But the truth of it is, we’re the same stuff where the pieces of this loving, omnipotent, omnipresent, presence that is everywhere. It’s in and through you and me and all things that exist. So if it is pure love, then you and I are pure, pure love, and we are without nothing.
But here’s the rub. The rub is the love is this. God choice we’ve got. We’ve got volition and guess what if we would just surrender that will flow, everything we were ever meant to be everything we desired. Everything we need, would show up in our moments of moments of today, because we’re being from that trust. We’re being from that awareness. We’re being from that love, abundance, harmony, balance, happiness, joy. Beating from that frequency because guess what? We’re trusting it and allowing it to take care of the how.
Lisa Patrick 20:08
Yeah, yeah. Well, and it’s what I call like being an eligible receiver. Right? You you’ve situated yourself to be an eligible receiver of the gifts that are being given to you, right? Mm hmm.
Sherry Gideons 20:21
yeah. And you know what, and here’s the real, here’s the real gift, everyone. You deserve it. I deserve it. Lisa deserves it. We are without nothing. But if we believe we are nothing, and we believe we don’t have enough, then once again, what’s showing up in our now environment is a mirror of what we believe and what we’re building from.
Lisa Patrick 20:45
Yeah, yeah. It’s those healthy affirmations of, you know, telling ourselves that, you know, we deserve that we are chosen that we are, you know, depending on who you are, that we are beautiful, or we are gifted, or we have something to share. You know, we are loved. You know, we love our children, our children love us, right. Like it’s telling those things to ourselves all day long, right?
Sherry Gideons 21:08
Yeah. And just like I said, you know, it takes awareness and pockets, I call him baby pockets of time, because you have to realize it’s taken me 23 years to get to where I am right now. But let me just say that it’s a work in progress.
Sherry Gideons 21:24
It’s a work in progress. But just to show you what’s possible, is in 2004, now I had the near death, the first near death in 1997, and was shown what every single one of us is capable of fast forward to 2004. Now let me just say, Listen, I’ve experienced adversity beyond belief. I’ve walked homeless on the streets twice. I’ve been married, divorced, drug addicted, bulimic anorexic had money, lost money, pro bodybuilder, lived with the Italian Mafia in Las Vegas. And I don’t say this, you know, to make you feel sorry for me, I say this, because I want you to realize that I walked in those shoes of pain and suffering and sacrifice and uncertainty. But as I surrendered and began to apply these universal principles, then guess what, my life changed. And so fast forward to 2004. And I’m pregnant with twins right before 40. And about I was the fittest patient my doctor had ever had. And he said to me, he says, My God, you’re so healthy, or this or that about two weeks before delivery. I blew up like a tomato where you could have stuck a pin in me and I would have exploded to get out of the blue. Well, they ran every test on the book. And they said that it was not toxemia. It wasn’t preeclampsia, because if that were the case, I would have demonstrated that early in the pregnancy. So it went ahead and they determined that one of the twins was had attached to my waist, which they call a site insertion. And so I did said okay, C section, let’s deliver c section and so I delivered a month early. And my baby one of the babies was born without a throat. She was born with what we call Hemi vertebrae is we all naturally have full vertebrae. So my daughter was born with half in her shoulders, and half in her lower lumbar. She was born with what’s called double hernias. And so of course, they medivac her to do a throat reconstruction. Now I want to talk about a couple things here that we all can use. One is, when we talk about affirmations, there’s even a more powerful way to declare with our Word, a vibrational frequency, and that’s what I call prayer treatment. It’s like an affirmation happening is you’re aligning with this frequency of oneness, this frequency of God, which is pure love, there’s no separation between you and it. So my child was going into surgery, and they were giving us the worst case scenario. Instead of looking at the appearance of illness and dis ease in her. I only saw wholeness. So I use my word I declared first that there was one source one power when infinite intelligence that life lives through me as me within me as it does with my daughter, Haley. I declare and use my word right here and right now that I only see everything functioning in her body as whole, perfect and complete. Every cell every Oregon is aligned, her throat is attached and she is swallowing and working perfectly in her Divine Self, her divine order.
Sherry Gideons Continues 24:51
And then what I do is I think I am so grateful for this glorious truth, this wisdom of knowing and as I release this word, I allow it to be so. And so it is. So that’s called prayer treatment. And that’s what I did with my daughter. I never saw disease. I never saw separation. I only saw what about the truth of who she was, I got out of the way of the how. And I spoke my word with the knowing and the expectation that we would get perfect order, perfect life. Perfect being. And that’s exactly what we got. Now with myself. One week later, I go into total cardiac arrest. And, yes, I go into total cardiac arrest. They come back and they say that we don’t know why. Chris, my little duty job is going off here. Last thing I know, did you can control everything in the live pay.
Anyway, they come back and they say that I had a massive heart attack. I’ve got between 32 Yeah, 32 and 37% heart function. I’m going to be on my back for six months waiting for a heart transplant that I that literally, I may never ever exercise again. And before I had this, I will nobody noticed this. Like, I mean, I Wonder Twins. So I was like to go through I mean, you go through 1000 different tests more than an average. And not one doctor, I guess you’re not looking at your heart, but still who should have been indicators.
Now what happened is is they before all of it before the heart attack happened, they had me at the Ronald McDonald charity house. And I had started to develop the pumping and fizzing from my mouth. And my husband got me into outpatient services. And they ran tests, like for six hours from the waist down. They thought that maybe I had a small infection from the C section. They weren’t sure. But they they came back and they said, you know, nothing’s wrong, we can’t find out what’s wrong. So they gave me antibiotics, because they thought, you know, maybe she has a small infection. But um, yeah, fast forward. And here’s the cool thing. Everyone, so had another near death experience in that incident. And in this one, obviously, I went to the light again, and experience I always say they because one of the things that’s so magnificent about when you have a near death experience is you’re surrounded with Ascended Masters, angels, your soul group people, you know, that have been in your family for you know, different lifetimes, that sort of thing. And what they told me was, is they said, Sherry, marine get in, you know, who you are, you know what you’re meant to do. And you need to go back and do that. You need to show the world what’s possible. And so guess what? I’m never acted as if anything was wrong. I told the doctor, I said, You know, I appreciate your diagnosis. But I’ve had another near death experience.
I know what’s possible. I know who I am. And I said to him, I said, I’m going to heal to 100%. Guess what he said, He’s, you’re crazy. He said, You’re crazy. We need to look at this realistically. He said, You’re a very sick woman. He says, you need a heart transplant. And I told him, I said, I’m going to show you what’s possible. And there’s lots of things that I did through this process. But one of the things with the key ingredients to the recipe is, is is I lived in each day and I was being from capital F capital R capital O capital M, from the place that I was already healed. So they said no exercise, guess what? Exercise people way. They, I didn’t let people hold conversations with me about fear or disease or sickness. I own talked about how I was going to demonstrate wholeness, perfect health. Fast forward. Years later, he calls me into the office, he sits me down and he says, you know, you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met in my life. And he says to me, he says, When you first told me what you told me, I thought you were crazy. He says but as I’ve gotten to know you over the last three years, he says as a medical doctor, he says we’re taught to think from you know, what the apply not from science? Yeah, yeah. What happened with his in his relationship with me as he realized that there is a power there It operates within all of us that literally has healed 100% I went from between 32 and 37% heart function to healing to 100%
Lisa Patrick 30:14
It’s crazy. It’s crazy. Well, you know, we’ve got Shelby on and Louisville Llewellyn on and Riaan I mean, I’m sure that there’s like me thinking like that is the power of the mind. Truly right. Like, and you hear stories of this all the time I knew I knew some of that story because you shared with that, share those stories with me. But I didn’t know this. Like that gives me goosebumps. Because I think there’s a there is a state of power in healing in the mind. And if you allow yourself to succumb, especially, you know, you talk about people who’ve got cancer, you know, I have, you know, I tried for years to get pregnant. And it was funny when I went down with my girlfriend to get actually a friend of mine, not my girlfriend, but a friend of mine, to actually get the eggs implanted. And as we, as we laughed, she said to me, Well, what do you think? And I said, Why? No, I’m pregnant. And she’s like, Well, how do you know that? And I said, Because today was the day of the anniversary of my grandfather’s death. And I know that he was looking over me, right? It’s the power of the mind, I went in there thinking it’s going to happen once and is only ever going to happen once both eggs are going to be fertilized. And my husband and I are going to have twins now. Healthy twins. And throughout that whole pregnancy every single day. I didn’t pray for healthy twins. I actually told myself, the twins are healthy. The twins are healthy every single day I woke up with that thought. And they were healthy, premature, but they were healthy children. So I think the power of the mind plays a key role in in healing, but also in gifting new those new opportunities and possibilities, right?
Sherry Gideons 31:57
Well, let me explain how that works. And I’ll tell you how it actually I remember I said that we are the same stuff. As God, as our higher power as the universe, we are the same stuff. We’re not separate from us. It isn’t bigger and holer. And, and mightier. We are the same stuff. And we can align with its power in oneness. And so what happens is, we’re all given free will. And so we want to be over here analyzing, rationalizing, scrutinizing the how when we have a desire, and it’s when we get out of the way, it’s when we allow, because think about this for a second, there is an infinite universe, there’s infinite avenues. And opportunities for the How to be delivered. Just like with yourself, you couldn’t have the how happen, you know, where you got pregnant on your own, you had to have eggs inserted into you. But that’s an avenue, a channel and opportunity that will allow you got out of the way and you allowed it and you align with that power inside of you that took care of the how,
Lisa Patrick 33:12
yeah, yeah. And so how do you know in business, so let’s talk a little bit about business, because you talked, you talked about, and made some notes about, you know, the blue energy, and the real secret is in the now. So for those people who are watching for time, boat life and happiness and greatness, how do you because you are extremely successful, and you have some really crazy things happening in your business right now. And it is because you you get out of the way and you allow the now to happen. But how do you do that in business versus life? And does it look differently? Can you tell us a little more about that?
Sherry Gideons 33:50
Well, to be honest with you, it really does not look differently, it really comes down to clarity, as well, as you create, I call it a mind map, I love to do mind maps, and I had my mapping program. But ultimately, I put me in the center of the mind map. And then what I do is I create all these different ideas. Okay, so what is Sherry want to do for happiness, joy and travel? What is your going to do for business? So in business? What’s the key ingredient for Sherry? The key ingredient is how can I inspire people? How can I What can I do that allows me to play full out, that allows me one to be myself, but also to help other people create that in their own life since clarity for you, it takes you identifying in yourself, what feels good for you. But, you know, it goes back to the same thing that I’ve been saying numerous times throughout this interview and one is letting go in the moment and just surrendering to you know what comes through you That piece of paper, what feels good for you. And then once you identify and start writing these things down, and you let’s use business to apply it in business. So for myself, I would I’m calling Sherry, what I would call a channeler. So because I live in the now, and I surrender in the now, ideas from what I call The Universe come flooding into Sherry. Yeah.
So, I always have a piece of paper, or I write in my notes on my iPhone, these ideas that through. And so I have, let me just tell you, I have numerous look at this numerous books, you know, that I write all these ideas on, but you got to get them out of your head. Because when we talk about energy and frequency, what happens is you want to be a free flowing spirit you want if you want that energy, like we talked about earlier, to come up all through your chakras, and flow back and forth with ease and grace. And so when we get them out of our head, and we get them onto paper, we can start to identify the areas we’re ready to move in right now. Because it goes back to focus, when we focus our energy in a specific area we’re ready for right now. So let’s use Sherry as an example, for business. What I did recently, is I put everything on a mind map, and identify how everything goes together. And then I asked myself the question,
What am I ready for right now? Well, we’re doing what what I’m ready for right now. I’m ready to impact in a very big way, and get information out in a very big way. But I’m also creating mastermind. I can bring other people into this environment and do that.
Lisa Patrick 36:57
Yeah, absolutely. Well, and I think it’s important to you know, the power of writing something down. And one releasing it from your mind and allowing it to go into paper. But also the, you know, saying now I’ve written it down, it’s more real than the thought, right? Like, it’s no real, it’s tangible. You can see it, you can feel it, you can touch it. And there’s a power behind that. So we never got to the to the place where we know your time. Both Dr. Jeffrey. And so what are you doing with him?
Sherry Gideons 37:31
Oh, my gosh, well, so when you want to talk about these deeper things, and how you’re attracting every avenue channel and opportunity in the moment, so I’m just allowing So long story short, out of the blue, there was a posting on Facebook from one of my friends that she was doing some work with Dr. Jeffrey Fannin, and I ended up you know, friend requesting him and messaging me on Facebook and said, hey, you’re local.
Wow, what are the odds of that? Yep. So we set up an appointment to get together. Through the conversation, we discovered that he has been an Abraham junkie. And then from that we just, he he asked the question for three days, who is Sherry Gideons? Yeah, just like we said, you know, and maybe I didn’t say this earlier, the quality of questions you ask yourself, determines the quality of life you live? Because Yeah, as I said earlier, we live in an infinite universe of everything oneness. So he’s asking that question, and the answer came back to him. And it was, I’m going to partner up with Sherry Gideon Sherry.
Lisa Patrick 38:43
Sherry, were you for three days going around? Who’s Dr. Jeffries? Who’s Dr. Jeffries? What was going through your mind? Well, Dr. Jeffries, who’s asking this question every day, and those three days What was going through your mind?
Unknown Speaker 38:58
So because I’m so intuitive, I already knew that something was kind of come into existence. I already knew it. And I allowed it when we talk about, you know, taking root in our mind, we can allow the positive, we can allow the fear, we can allow the joy to take root. And so when I’m being from that higher vibration, and letting that take root, I’m pulling into my now moments, everything that is in alignment with me. So that’s called him. So now him and I are creating opportunities for what I was speaking about earlier.
Sherry Gideons 39:38
For all of you to have it done to you too. We’ve created a new program. It’s going to be released very soon. It’s called moment to moment.
And they can find can they find out about it on your on your website, Sherry?
Sherry Gideons 39:53
We can actually find out about it on Dr. Jeffrey Fannin’s website, which is So easy. It’s called ThoughtGenius.com.. I’m going to put this in the banner, perfect, perfect. There we go. They can find all about it there. And like I said, You are an individualized human being. And there’s all kinds of feelings and emotions that are going on in each of you daily. This will show you your blood test. It’ll show you what’s going on in your system. It’ll show you if you’re aging rapidly, what your cellular structure is, where your attention span. is. Everything your aura, your chakras, what’s in alignment, what’s out of alignment.
Meet the world’s most renowned neuroscientist, Dr. Jeffrey Fannin as he discusses brain mapping and 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗶𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗚𝗼 𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗨𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗛𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗧𝗲𝗿𝗺𝘀.
A “Brain Map” is useful for determining the patterns in the brain. These patterns show what is working too hard and what is not working hard enough to achieve optimal performance.
Dr. Fannin has worked in the neuroscience field, mapping and analyzing the brain for over 17 years. Dr. Fannin has extensive experience training the brain for optimal brain performance working with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD/ADHD), anxiety disorders, depression, and trauma recovery. Dr. Fannin holds a Ph.D. in Psychology, an MBA, and a Bachelor of Science degree in Mass Communications. Dr. Fannin was part of a research team at Arizona State University researching neuroscience and leadership; including work at the United States Military Academy at West Point. For several years, he served on faculty at Walden University teaching cognitive neuroscience at the masters and doctoral level. Presently, he is teaching and developing courses in quantum neuroscience for Quantum University.
SEE SHOW NOTES BELOW!
MORE ABOUT Dr. Jeffrey: https://thoughtgenius.com/
Good morning, everybody. Well, welcome to the coffee with Lisa Show. I’m your host Lisa Patrick. And today I have a very special guest, Dr. Jeffrey fan. And I’m going to tell you a little bit about Dr. Jeffrey. So he holds a PhD in psychology and MBA and Bachelor of Science degree in mass communications. He’s the founder and executive director for the Center for cognitive enhancement, and thought genius. He’s worked in the neuroscience field mapping and analyzing the brain for over 17 years. And Dr. Fannin has extensive experience training the brain for optimal brain performance, working with attention deficit disorder, anxiety disorders, depression and trauma recovery. Over the years he’s been involved in the cutting edge research using the eg technology to accurately measure balanced brainwave energy as the whole brain state engaging this process forms symmetrical brainwave pattern in both hemispheres of the brain and creates harmony for the front and the back of the brain. So I want to thank you, Dr. Fannin, for joining us today. I understand that you’ve got some leading work or with the United States military at West Point. And you’ve served on the faculty at the Walden University teaching cognitive neuroscience at the doctorial level. Welcome to the show.
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 1:28
Lisa, thank you for having me today. I really appreciate that.
Lisa Patrick 1:32
You’re welcome. I’m very excited to learn about what is brain mapping, and some of the exciting things that I know because I’m good friends with Sherry Gideons and Sherry introduced us some of the things that you’ve got going on, you got some pretty dynamic and interesting things. But first and foremost, let’s get to know you a little better. Where are you from? Dr. Jeffrey, where’d you grow up?
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 1:54
Well, I grew up in Utah. And, you know, then we moved out away from the Salt Lake City area and moved down here to the Phoenix area, we actually lived in Scottsdale, when I was in high school. You know, once I got out of high school, then I started to roam the world. I was gone a lot I, you know, worked in Chicago for a while and was in television as a technical director. So that helped me, you know, in in my later years, and then the military came along, and, and I thought I was going to get out of that. But I ended up getting drafted. They they had the draft going on. And they went to 195 that year in the draft, and my number was 192. Yeah, so I went in, I was able to get they said, we’re going to pick for you or you go ahead and pick. And so I took a bunch of tests. And they wanted to put me in the army. And I said, I don’t think so. And so they they took a bunch of us in the room. After they give us all these tests.
They said, You scored so high, we’re gonna make you a helicopter pilot. Well, the Vietnam War was hot and heavy back then, you know, this was in the early 70s. And so I didn’t want anything to do with being a helicopter pilot, because their life expectancy was like 30 minutes, you know, so I thought there might be something in the Air Force. And I said, they knew they had me over a barrel, because they gave me 48 hours to either pick where I was going, where they would select for me. Yeah. And so I took all these tests and, and because of my background in television, and I had an undergraduate degree in Mass Communications, I thought that’s what I wanted to do. So when I went to basic training, they basically said, Look, we can’t guarantee that but we can bring you in, in the general field. And when you get to basic training, just telling me what to bypass specialist as well, I got down there to basic training, and, you know, hook line and sinker. So I basically said, I want to take a bypass specialist test. And they said, No way, there’s a war on because the Vietnam War was hot and heavy. And so he said, we’ll give you some tests here, and we’ll see what you’re made for. So they gave me a bunch of tests. And at the end of basic training, they were passing out the jobs and stuff and so I get this one. It says, you’ll be an AC MW operator. So what does that you know, I’m going to run a root beer stand.
What is an A CW operator? Yeah, but there’s aircraft control and warning. So I learned to control airplanes. And that’s what I would do. And so as Vietnam was getting towards the end, and I finished my tour in cold Bay, Alaska, of all places, you know, where the peninsula comes out, and the Aleutian Islands, the lead very last place before the Aleutian Islands is pulled Bay. Well, it’s been cold bay for a very good Reason, you know, I think the coldest I’ve ever got was a minus 73 degrees Fahrenheit. You know, they wouldn’t let us go outside. But anyway, I was supposed to go from there to Vietnam, you know, because of my background, and I was going to be a forward air controller. Now forward air controller, it’s a guy that sits in the jungle, talking to the airplane, and telling him when to drop his napalm, you know, I’m thinking who have I pissed off now, you know, to get this wonderful assignment.
So fortunately, the Vietnam War ended two weeks before I’ve scheduled the girl to go to Vietnam. And so because I was at a remote site, I got my duty station of choice. So I said, I’m going to Europe. So I went to Germany, and was involved with the, you know, radar group and stuff like that, and doing weapons control intercept. And for a while, and because of my background in television, then they put me allowed me to go in as a television producer, you know, for the Armed Forces Network. So I spend three and a half years traveling around here, making movies and things like that, and doing Air Force now films and stuff like that. So I got some stuff there. And I also learned to fly while I was in Germany. So I joined an aero club, and would fly people up and down the Rhine River looking castles in helicopters.
Lisa Patrick 6:29
You ended up flying?
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin
Yeah, fixed wing, you know? Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, people would come and visit me. And I’d say, Well, if you want to go to France, for lunch, France was like, 20 minutes away, you know, Ramstein Air Base. And so I did a lot of that. And then when I came home, you know, got my commercial instrument rating, then I worked my way up, flying tours, for Lake Powell, and air service, and then being able to move into getting enough hours to fly for the airlines. So then I got hired by a US Air. So I was an airline pilot for US Air Base to Dell, and yet, you know, living in Phoenix, in Los Angeles there. So I did that for a while and then decided I was going to do something different. And, you know, that’s when I, they started to have a reduction in force. And so I had like 6000 hours on my logbook, but I couldn’t even get a an interview, because of all of the airline pilots and things because of the reduction in force. So that sent me off. And I decided to go back to school, get my degree in psychology, and learned about brain mapping and that sort of thing. And that really interests me. And so I knew it’d be three years before my number came up my seniority number to get back in the airlines. But by that time, I really didn’t want to get back because my seniority number, I would always be in the middle of, you know, the bubble there, so to speak. So I went off and started doing brain mapping and, you know, then training the brain and so I’ve been doing that for the last 20 years.
Lisa Patrick 8:17
Wow. Well, that’s quite the story because you go from number one saying you don’t want to fly helicopters to learning how to fly helicopters, which is kind of ironic when you think about it. Dr. Fannin?
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 8:28
Well, I wasn’t flying helicopters. I’m flying fixed wing, just, you know, so we didn’t
Lisa Patrick 8:34
airplane. Gotcha. Yeah.
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 8:35
Yeah. Well, I love to fly, you know. And so, I just wasn’t sure I wanted to be a helicopter pilot in Vietnam. You know, I don’t blame you.
Lisa Patrick 8:48
around telling people where to drop the bombs isn’t fun, either.
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 8:53
No. So everything worked out the universe was looking out for me and decided that I should take this path and work with people. Now the way that I do is I was always trying to find a better way to work with people. And so that’s what I do. Now I have programs where I can work with anybody anywhere in the world, and talk about, you know, what’s going on in their brain and how to get rid of subconscious belief patterns, and all the things that I write about in my books. You know, if I started writing those in about, I think about 2008 and 2007, somewhere in there. And it took me a long time because I was traveling around the world and, you know, working with people and, you know, so
Lisa Patrick 9:39
really good grace for, you know, commanding the power of thought really,
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 9:44
right. I be able to work with people and understand what they do and how they do it. And so my degree in psychology has helped me a lot with understanding, you know, human behavior. And, you know, I think a lot of people nowadays are really kind of stuck, you know, what do I do? Where do I go? How do I get there, I just finished doing a video that I’m going to be putting up here, I might actually converge or change my office here at home. So I’m actually sitting in my little YouTube studio. And so I got green screens and all kinds of things and like around here, but I just did a video on subconscious beliefs, and how we can deal with that. And they’re basically seven lives, seven myths that we all subscribed to, you know, and so that became very important, you know, in helping people understand, and then how do you actually change that. So there is a part of my training is in dealing with subconscious beliefs. And because they are subconscious, we really aren’t aware that that’s what’s happening. Because they’re in that subconscious part of our brain.
So I talk about those things in the book, and how to get rid of subconscious beliefs. And I work with people over the internet, like on a zoom meeting, or something kind of like what we’re doing here, and help them you know, find out what their belief needs to be what the old belief is, because what happens with a subconscious belief is essentially that we have a thought over and over and over again. And that gets part of it gets recorded in our subconscious. And our behaviors come out in our subconscious belief. So if you want to know what’s on your subconscious belief window, just look at your behavior. Well, I’m doing this and I don’t want to, and so you can change that. So I work with people in the world and helping them change something that they’re doing, they don’t want to do. So it’s firing the new one rather than yoga. Yeah, the way that comes together scientifically is we have an event, and then we’re going to put some meaning to that event. And then we add some emotion. And we call that a cognition, those get bound together with what we call acetylcholine a neurotransmitter. And so it’s like when you have a memory about a song, and it takes you way back when well, that gets fired, it takes goes, you’re in your subconscious memory and grabs a hold of that cognition. And that’s why you have that memory.
So when we are doing things, and we don’t want to be doing them, and I used to talk about this a lot, you know, going back in my history, I and I would do things after I got out of my own. And and I’d say, Where did that come from? Why do I do that sort of thing. And then I would go home to visit my parents, and I would see it and it’s like, yep, there it is. So as we’re growing up from the third trimester of our inception, all the way up to age seven or eight, we have no filters. So our brain is basically in.See some people nowadays, even as adults, like owning LASIK, does I ever say around here? You’re only young ones, but you can be immature forever. Yeah,
Lisa Patrick 13:12
yeah, exactly. Exactly. Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. But that’s so true.
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 13:16
Yeah, well, it is because that’s what drives our behavior. And so if we want to grow and develop, and sometimes we can’t get out of that, that young development where we have no filters in our brain is basically in delta and theta. So everything that we were learning how the world works, and what our perception is. And so that’s what guides our perception of the world and what we think and how the world works. And we don’t realize until we get later on in our years, even in our adult years, that there’s a five year old driving the train here, you know, and so we have to do something to get rid of that. But there is a process that can be done. And it’s a physiological process. So I talked about the acetylcholine. And basically what happens when we have a, we want to get rid of the old belief. And that cognition, we disengage the emotion from that. So you may not get rid of the memory, but the emotion gets disengaged, so you have no emotion, so it doesn’t trigger that behavior. And then you can install, causing a second burst of acetylcholine to happen. I know a lot about this, because that’s what I wrote my doctoral dissertation on EMDR on anxiety, stress and depression in the workplace, so and so
Lisa Patrick 14:37
it’s really eliminating the emotion attached to the memory in order to stop the behavior from occurring in the future. Right. Well,
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 14:47
exactly. Because when we look at the relationship, there are three electromagnetic centers that we deal with, that are very important one is the electromagnetic centers around our chakras. Is the electromagnetic center around our heart.
And the third one is the electromagnetic center around the brain. So there are signals that are going from the heart to the brain to start those electrochemical situation. So we have those emotions and those feelings. Yeah, what a lot of people don’t realize is that the electromagnetic center around the heart is 60 times greater than the electromagnetic center around the brain. So what that really means is there are over 4000 neurites, around the heart. Now a neuron is like a neuron in the brain and thinking, remember, it can learn. And so the neurites. And that’s why we we look at the heart chakra, for example, when we’re trying to develop coherence within ourselves. If you if you look at my friend, Bruce Lipton’s work, in Biology of Belief and those kinds of things, the cells have to be dynamic. And what that means is your cells have to be able to communicate one with another. And so that’s part of this coherence issue.
So when the the, we have this signals going from the heart to the brain, and there are two parts of our autonomic nervous system, the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system. So the sympathetic nervous system is setting up the trigeminal nerve, or excuse me, the vagus nerve, from the heart to the brain. And it’s activating those chemicals. So we have those feelings. And so when we get anxious or overwhelmed or angry, or whatever, it’s causing those neural peptides to occur. And we have those chemicals within triggers some of our memories and feelings and from our subconscious. And so that mechanism that gets in there. So this is about developing coherence, or adding the second part of the autonomic nervous system called the parasympathetic nervous system, where it calms down, that overwhelm the anxious the fear, and balances that out. And that’s what we call coherence. And so when we have a coherent system, running through the heart, that we are creating this call, energetic system, that is transmitting the energy and information from cell to cell to cell at one that’s balanced, then we have coherence. And so I did a lot of research on working with people and looking at, you know, what creates the coherence? And how do you do that with people anywhere in the world?
Lisa Patrick 17:37
And so how does brain mapping? So let’s talk a little bit more about like, what is exactly brain mapping for those of us, including myself, I mean, I have a high level understanding, but not a real in depth understanding, what is brain mapping? And how does that contribute to what we’re talking about?
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 17:54
Well, brain mapping is really an eeg and electroencephalogram. So put a cap on the hair. And then we’ll inject gel down into like 20 different locations. And we are looking at the eeg once we get the eeg. And so I will take like a baseline, eyes open, eyes closed, so would with your brain on tasks, things like that. So we can see how it functions in different realm. One of them I might do meditation to see how their brain functions in meditation. So doing over 4000 brain maps around the world with meditators. And what I found is most people have no idea how to meditate. And their brains are far too busy. You know, so we have to learn teach them how to calm their brain. I
Lisa Patrick 18:40
mean, I don’t know, like, I’d be scared to see what my eeg would say when I was trying to meditate.
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 18:48
Yeah, well, they open up the borders, come on down. And yeah,
Lisa Patrick 18:53
for sure, absolutely.
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 18:54
Yeah. So you can talk to Sherry, we did. We’ve done you know, Shannon’s a bunch of other people, you know, to kind of see what goes on with it, then I also have some equipment that you put your finger down on the camera lens, and it will shoot a 10 millivolt charges a little small, you can’t even feel it. So we can measure your energy field, we can measure your chakras, we can see when they’re misaligned, that sort of thing. And, you know, then we can do whatever we need to do in order to bring those back into alignment to increase your coherence. And that’s, I have an eight-week program that I work with people. Now they can see that on my website if they want.
Lisa Patrick 19:35
And so once you’ve done that the procedure of the brain mapping it and you know, you’ve used the gel and you’ve done this test, what are you looking for?
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 19:48
Yeah, they’re there, you know, so we will take the eg and convert it into what we call a Q eg, which is a quantitative eg so I get a bunch of little heads. need every frequency, one hertz, two hertz through all the way up to 30 hertz, and then we can start to see patterns. So when I see too much alpha in front of the brain, then I know people are going to have problems with a focus and concentration issues, or too much beta in the back of the brain.
This is where we’re going to see things like anxiety, and stuff like that, and business in the brain, and that sort of thing. And so we can tell how many standard deviations is there. And that tells me Okay, here’s what we have to do to retrain the brain. So we all have this thing called neuroplasticity, in other words, training the brain. So if the amplitude of a of the energy is too much energy in the front of the brain, and you’re losing focus on grief, we bring that down. Same thing with the back of the brain, you got anxiety, we’re going to bring that down, and cause the brain to function in a normal range, and add the coherence. So now you can do what it is you want, if you’re trying to deal with, let me give you an example of many people have heard of the law of attraction, so to speak, why. And so there are some physics that are involved with that, when we have a thought and it is vibrating at a particular now whether it’s a wanted thought, or an unwanted thought, it doesn’t really matter. And so it’s vibrating at a particular rate. If we hold that thought for 1617 seconds, then other energy that is vibrating, like it will be attracted to it. Now, if we have the wanted thoughts, as these two come together, they are increasing the energy or the amplitude of that energy that is there.
after 68 seconds, we understand through physics, that it’s not just affecting the energy or in that is out there, it’s affecting particle matter. So now we are attracting that which we want. But the problem is we as human beings, we have a wanted thought and an unwanted thought of one thought. So we’re constantly putting resistance into the field, based on, you know, our paradigm, our subconscious belief patterns, all of these kinds of things that are happening. And people don’t understand, okay, well, how do I get rid of those beliefs that aren’t working for me while we go through that process? and get rid of them? And how do I instill the ones that I do want, those are the ones that I want to fire off. So there’s a way of instilling new ones and creating new patterns, new habits of being able to teach that the relationship between the heart and the brain so that you this coherent function? So the cells are talking to each other, you know, from cell to cell.
Yeah, in a pattern that makes sense, right? Clearly, right?
Lisa Patrick 23:00
Yeah, one that’s working for you, you actually. I’m sorry, I say I was just gonna say I can’t imagine like when I think about veterans, for instance, right, we’re children who have gone through trauma, the amplitude of opportunity to help them through brain mapping must be extraordinary. You must.
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 23:29
Yeah, when I very first got into this field, I worked with a lot of children who had been abused, or neglected. And so they had this PTSD, like trauma. And so I’ve worked also with a lot of military veterans and done some studies with things like that, and how, how do you get rid of that? How do you change that? Because it’s, it’s, it’s very nice to measure this. And, and there’s one thing that is very important, and that is the relationship between the cells in our bodies. So that’s why we do you know, we’ll send out a kit to people if they can’t come to me, and there’s two steps to this kit. One, they poke their finger and get a couple of drops of blood and send it into the lab. Then the second part is where they do an online cognitive test. It takes about 15 minutes. So if I can’t get the brain map that
Lisa Patrick 24:21
I normally Yeah, sorry, Dr. Jeffrey, this is the brain span that you’re talking about. Right? Yeah,
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 24:27
Lisa Patrick 24:27
Let me let me just interrupt you for one second. I’m going to play a video for everybody about brain spam that really talks specifically to what Dr. Fannin is talking about and then we’re going to explore this a little bit more stem by
optimizing the health of the brain is the future of healthcare. brain health is the gateway to produce optimal health for the entire body. The ability to measure, track and improve brain function and key blood biomarkers has profound implications for your overall health. Brain span is revolutionizing preventive brain health by providing a complete blood profile that reflects both cellular health and systemic inflammation and connects these metrics to brain function. The neural health assessment is simple yet thorough. It is generated from two brief steps activated from a small kit. One, a patient performed fingerstick, providing a few droplets of blood on a card. And to a brief web based cognitive function assessment on a touchscreen device within two to three days of processing pen electronic report is available that elegantly illustrates the status and relationships between nutrition, inflammation and brain function. specific information on the omega three index and the Omega six omega three ratio, among other indices, help you avoid being in the dark when it comes to quality and quantity of specific dietary nutrients. The results of the cognitive function assessment are described to include the areas of attention, processing speed, and memory, linking them back to the nutritional metrics and specific lifestyle recommendations, making them more meaningful and motivating. A wellness summary is also provided, so you can easily understand what your results really mean for you today, and for your future, if you don’t take steps to improve it.
Lisa Patrick 26:27
That was really interesting. So let’s talk a little bit more about that.
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 26:34
Yeah, well, you know, when I started traveling around the world and doing stuff with people, I wanted to find a way in order to, to help people no matter where they are in the world. And so I was speaking at a conference in San Francisco, that Bruce Lipton had set me up with this, this deal to speak, they’re about 1000 people at this conference. And they had displays and things set up. And so that’s where I met the owners of brain span, and come to find out that they’re doing a lot of the same kind of research and things that I was doing. So I got involved with them. And I’ve been doing this for many years now. And you know, with hundreds and hundreds of people, where they where they take this test, because I was looking for that relationship between the brain and the body are basically the cells and what’s going on in the brain. And this gives me that measurement. So I’m working with somebody, we will do this test at the beginning of the eight weeks, and then we will do it again, at the end of the eight weeks. And in between we work on how to how to change things. So we can look at their report and see what’s affecting the cells, what’s affecting their brain. And, you know, we can look at their memory, their processing speed, you know, their cognitive functions, all of those things. So if they can’t get to me to do a brain map of QE G, then we can do it this way. Yeah, then talk about what their needs are, and then go about, you know, bringing them in line, we can actually see the trajectory of whether you’re aging too slowly or too quickly. You know, and where you fall in that trajectory. And we know what it is that we have to do taking supplements, actually, they are NRF, one and r two activators that activate these pathways that deal with our aging with our cellular health, that sort of thing.
Lisa Patrick 28:35
Right, right. And so can you tell us a story about because you must have some clients that have seen dramatic changes in their lives. So can you think of somebody that off the top of your head, that was one of the most dramatic stories that happened for you as a result of
better medic stories, but let me let me tell you how this all kind of got started.
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 29:05
Yeah, it happened kind of by accident. So I did all the greatest things to do. Exactly.
So I was working with a young man who had problems with focus and concentration. So we did the brain map with him. And I was doing the traditional way of helping change the, you know, the process in the brain and that sort of, so as I learned more about these activators, in our one in or two, I put him on his regimen, after we’ve done a brain map. And then 12 days later, I get another brain map. And I saw something that I have never seen in 25 years that I’ve been doing this, and that is that everything was in the normal range. And it’s like, how is that possible? You know, and so I’m comparing them side by side. So I have some videos and Chuck talk about these kinds of things.
I’ve done a lot of interviews, but basically, it was showing that in the normal range. So at first I thought there was something wrong with the with the brain with the cap, you know, with the data, but it all checked out. And so I began to look at this more from a quantum physics point of view, I’d say how is this physically possible. So as I looked at that, and I was talking earlier about having the right environment for your cells, so that they can function normally. And so I began to as I was breaking down different parts of the brain map. And looking at coherence, it went from a very messy coherence, to normal. And now that didn’t cure his add, because there were too many gaps in his learning. But it did open up his cellular pathways to allow this connection is communication between sell, to sell, and open and be coherent. And so as we worked with him, before we started doing this, the parents were getting two or three calls a day, a day from the school, you know, he’s acting out he didn’t bring his homework, he’s being belligerent, typical things that we would see with kids who lose focus and concentration. And then, quote, days later, mom brings in a note saying, from the School of saying, Wow, what a turnaround and tweening. In his homework, he’s doing what he needs to do. He’s not being belligerent. He’s not acting out.
So by the end of the school year, it’s get of getting D’s and F’s on his report card. He was getting A’s and B’s, I have another young man that I just finished working with here, maybe a month or so ago. And he wanted to get into college, he finished high school. But his LSAT scores were so low, that he wouldn’t be able to get into. So we put him on this routine of retraining his brain, and so forth. And so then he’s retook his sh t test, had a tutor and whatnot, that helped him. And he got such a high enough score, he wanted to go to you and lb, but he couldn’t qualify to get in there. And right now, he is at U and Lv he was he got his admission, you nlb. And he’s now taking courses at U and Lv.
Lisa Patrick 32:10
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 32:13
So, always, no matter what you’re in, you know what you want to be limitless and be more powerful and have, you know, subconscious belief patterns that propel you forward. So you’re not dealing with anxiety and depression or, you know, not being able to work well.
Lisa Patrick 32:32
So you talk, like, while I was doing some research on you for the show, you talk about commanding the power of thought, what does that mean to you?
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 32:44
That means a lot of things. You know, so we have a thought, you know, over and over, I’ll go back to what I was talking about earlier, that we have wanted thoughts, and we have unwanted thoughts. Now, here’s the science of some of this, when we look at and this is I kind of explained this a lot in the book, that 95% of our thoughts come from our subconscious mind. So in how that process works, in the conscious part of our brain, only 5% of what we say Think and Do will happen. 95% of it comes from our subconscious belief. Now when we look at the brain as a whole, you know, how is it actually processing, that the thinking part of our brain the conscious part, that it processes that at that 40 bits per second? Now, when we go to the subconscious part, it processes at 40 million bits per second, you know, and so there’s so much going on down there, and because we’re not aware of it, we ate out in our behavior, and so commanding the power of thought really is about Okay, what do I do? how, you know, what are the things that get in my way? You know, and so we look at that 95% of our thoughts. And and this one bothered me for years and kind of set me off on this path. It’s like, you know, why would God create 95% of our thoughts be negative thoughts? Yeah, yeah. And so, I thought about that, and I thought about it. And then finally, in one of my meditations, it came to me that the reason that 95% we have to know what we don’t want in order to pick what free will, you know, you can’t have free will or free choice. Unless, you know, we have to know what we don’t want in order to choose what we do want. Right? And so that’s what that’s all about. And so we why we that is the default mechanism. So this is more about deciding what you want, how you want to live your life, what you want to have happen, but most people live life by default. You know, they don’t, they don’t design, what it is that they want and how they go. Without giving it away, they just do do whatever comes naturally
Lisa Patrick 35:04
good. Well, Jen, Jen is watching with me today. And Jen, Jen were her and I were doing a program called 75 hard, which is really a way of retraining our body and our mind over 75 days, I’m not sure if you’re familiar with a 75 day hard challenge or not. But it is a, you know, patterns of behavior over time, right? So commanding the power of thought to actually change our behavior. You’re talking about how you’re looking at mind mapping and the unconscious at 95% of the time in the unconscious. And so how does things like gratitude, play a role in that, and and you know, some of those soft skills of life skills?
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 35:48
Yeah, well, let me kind of explain that, you know, when we look at gratitude and appreciation, and many people use those synonymously. But here’s the science of that, when we are great grateful for something, what it usually means is, we are grateful that we are not here, and we’re over here, you know. And so there is a lower vibration, a lower frequency, in gratitude, whereas appreciation, the frequency or vibration is higher, it’s closer to unconditional love. And so, when people say that, well, I’m grateful for this, if they would just change that to I appreciate this. So for example, I’m sitting here in Arizona, and it’s a very nice day, it’s like 85 degrees here, this is why we live in Arizona. But when it was hot, during the summer, I could be sitting here in my office working and have appreciation that I’m not out there, and 116 degrees,
I can have appreciation that it’s a sunny day, or I can have appreciation that it’s raining, or when I go to bed, I can have appreciation for my nice soft pillow, my nice warm blanket, where there’s difference in gratitude as opposed to appreciation. So if I want to attract more things that I’m appreciative for, and we look at this thing called the receptive zone, so into this wanted unwanted kind of thing. And so I have to open up to being in the receptive zone, and to be in the receptive zone, I’m going to start having that feeling that emotion of appreciation, sending that vibration out there, that I am appreciative, and then I can begin to attract what it is that I want. But I find to have to open up that doorway of appreciation to be in the receptive zone. Otherwise, if I’m putting resistance into the field, with unwanted thoughts, or unwanted feelings, I’m just pushing away the very thing I’m trying to create. So it
Lisa Patrick 37:56
Totally makes sense. You know, I talk lots about how how to make yourself an eligible receiver in life, right. And that’s essentially what you’re talking about. Make yourself an eligible receiver. Well, Dodger fan, I want to thank you very much. We’re getting close to closing our show here. We’re already at almost 45 minutes. But I always ask, and I always find this really interesting. So one of them’s a lot more about brain mapping and the and the value Behind the Science, which is really important, because I think sometimes we don’t appreciate that enough, first and foremost. But one of the things that, you know, we’re are really in challenging times right now. And so how do we or what is your number one suggestion moving forward? Because clearly, I haven’t had my brain mapped. And I’m not there for the brain span. So what’s what’s your one piece of advice that you’d give people right now today that they could apply in their lives? Moving for a better life?
Dr. Jeffrey Fannin 38:59
Please. So that’s a wonderful question. And, and I started thinking about stuff like that, because I was getting a lot of interviews and things because of the books created, you can get a free gift, I have a free gift for your audience hear, if they go to my website, they can download, you know, the five keys to commanding the power of thought, which kind of addresses some of these things that people can do. And, and a large part of it is, just don’t allow yourself it’s kind of like training a dog, you know, sit, stay, you don’t stay in training our bright brain to do what it is that we want. It takes a little bit of time to develop new neural pathways, so that the good ones, you know, be pay attention to what you’re feeding your brain. A lot of people get online and watch all kinds of things, you know, what is your morning routine? Deal with? And and so what are you thinking when I have a negative thought, and this doesn’t preclude anybody from having negative thoughts, but when you have One, what is it you actually do? And you, you can stop yourself and say, No, I don’t do that anymore. I’m going to go into that receptive zone, I’m going to think about something that I can appreciate. And it’s being present in the moment. You’re present in the moment, I’d be aware of what you’re thinking about, and then find something in the moment that you can appreciate when you’re finding that you’re not appreciating things that’s not coming naturally.
Brad Blazar knows how to build teams that drive performance and results.
Having raised over $2 Billion in capital for some of the industry’s leading firms, Brad shares with you how you can build a team and broaden distribution into new channels.
Brad believes that when you create places where you are rewarded and appreciated, you make great places to work.
See below for show notes!
Good morning, folks. And we’re tuning in for a new episode of Coffee with Lisa. And today I have the amazing and outstanding Brad Blazar. And what I want to talk about today is about sales and driving teams, and how can we really, truly get great performance out of really great, extraordinary teams that are highly adaptable. But before we get started, I just wanted to share let you know that clearly, we don’t have any sponsors for the show for coffee with Lisa. So we’d sure appreciate if you like what we talked about to go over to iTunes and give us a review and and to share. So welcome, Brad. I mean, your track record is impressive. First of all, 23 years old, you start, you’re working in oil company, you grow the team to 30, you’re generating billions in dollars over you write books, that you’ve got some crazy things going on. But a little bit about new first, like, who is Brad, where do you come from? You know, where’d you grow up?
Brad Blazar 1:08
Sure, you know, I’ll share my backstory with you. You know, I was basically born into what I would call a middle-class family, Lisa, you know, my parents certainly, were not of wealth. My dad was basically a executive CPA that went into real estate. And then, of course, my mom, we get older as children basically worked in real estate as an agent. But, you know, I knew, I guess from a relatively young age, that I wanted more in life. And I tell the story of a very wealthy rich uncle of mine, you know, it’s kind of like Rich Dad, Poor Dad, you know, I had a rich uncle. And my Uncle Henry never had more than a sixth-grade education. He was an orphan. And as an orphan young boy was basically given the responsibility of looking after his two sisters, my ons. But as a young man, he went to work in the textile factories in New York City.
And his job was to carry these large, big bolts of textiles from one scene trust to the next. And there was a gentleman that he met that basically was a capitalist that took a liking for whatever reason to my Uncle Henry. And he said, Henry, I’d like to start a women’s fashion line. And you know so much about women’s fashions you work here in the text files, you know how to walk up and feel with your hands, good quality, you know, I’d like to bring the capital in. So they started a company called rNk fashions back right before the depression that literally went on to become one of the largest women’s fashion lines in the world.
And he created millions, and then of course, became a philanthropist. And when I was about eight, I’ll never forget this, we were having Thanksgiving dinner at the Palm Beach Country Club, which he owned. And he was walking me around the room holding my hand. He said, you see that man over there. He puts the little erasers at the end of your pencils that you use in school. You see that guy over there. He’s the one that makes the hangers. And you know, as a young boy, I’m just like, blown away, go like holy crap, you know, and I knew then that I wanted abundance. And so when I got older, you know, of course, I had multiple jobs, you know, paper routes, working in restaurants.
But it was when I went off to school, Lisa, to study architecture, because I wanted to become an architect and use those skills. Then I got sidetracked. I ended up responding to an ad in a newspaper that literally changed my life where there was a small little local oil company looking for someone just to get on the phone and call out to high net worth accredited investors. And so I responded to the ad was hired in literally working three hours a day, three days a week, which is nine hours out of the workweek. I was making 80 grand a year as a you know, punk kid going to school. And I said to myself, man, if I’m doing that, once a week, what in the world could I do if I was working full time. And so without that knowledge, I just basically quit going to class and showed up and learn how to close built a very, very sizable network of accredited investors. Then I went to work for a second company doing the same thing. Unfortunately, the second company that’s to say they had a thread of dishonesty. They weren’t the highest ethics, they were committing fraud. And so I resigned we filed class action suit we prevailed. But out of that came great goodness because my investors looked at me. They didn’t know I was 23 years old because this was before zoom.
This was before streamyard. I was doing it on the tail. Phone, they knew I was in my 30s their bread, what are you gonna do now? I said, I don’t know. And so they backed me. And at the age of 23, I was catapulted into the role as a CEO and founder of a small oil company not knowing anything about business, other than letterhead, and some business cards and envelopes. But I was a quick learner. And I got on the phone, and I started raising money for these different deals. And then I started hiring salespeople to work for me, Lisa taught them how to sell and do the same thing. We got to a point where we grew, we were raising millions of dollars a month, we were drilling in Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana. And that’s basically where I learned how to do what I call my primary hard skill, which is teaching other people how to raise capital to buy, build, or scale their business or fund their real estate venture. And I’ve raised over $2 billion, still counting. And I’m also now of course, an author, a keynote speaker and a coach and consultant to others. But that really wasn’t when I call the path that I wanted to go down.
When I dissolved my oil company, after running it for a decade, I started writing a book, because I woke up one day, and I said, you know, there aren’t many 23 year-old kids that grow multi-million dollar companies. And that book was largely cast aside, and it was never completed. And it was literally about two, two and a half years ago when I was cleaning up my office and I found the floppy disk, floppy disk, you know.
Brad Blazar continues… 6:33
But it was a floppy disk that had the title of the book. And I said, you know, I’ve got to finish that my project now that I have a daughter. And I want my daughter to be instilled with the proper things and understand, you know, success. I’m going to finish the book. And so it was a lot of late nights. It was a lot of editing. When I got my author’s copy of the book in the mail, I was so proud. And I looked at the cover and I showed it to my wife. And I designed the cover myself and I said if you were walking down the aisle to Barnes and Noble, does this jump off the shelf which you bought the book. And she said you want my honest opinion has said that tells me right there it sucks. And so I went to Fiverr you know the platform where you can hire artists and illustrators, I paid a couple hundred bucks, I found a dude actually over seas that had designed the book covers for some New York Times bestsellers. And he designed what became basically the number one rated read for young entrepreneurs. And this happened actually last year, shortly after the book came out. And a friend of mine called me he said, Hey, you know your books, number one. And I’m like, were like Amazon, like, you know, New York Times, he said, No, there’s a big blog over in England that just ranked your book as the number one read for young entrepreneurs. And sure enough, I researched him. And it was a big blog in England that had put my book number one on the list. I don’t know how it happened, I really don’t care. But as someone that understands what I mean. Yeah. You know, but but I backed that one thing with action, I took that link. I sent it to universities that have entrepreneurship programs. And I said, I am the author of what is today the number one ranked book for young entrepreneurs, here’s a free copy. And then they started calling Brad, we’d love to have you come speak to our student body great, started showing up started getting calls from radio and television stations. And I realize and I told my wife, there is a bigger calling for brand blazer, you know, you just don’t get called by radio stations, television shows and major universities like rice and Texas a&m to be called in. And that’s when I started basically my keynote, speaking, working on my second book. And then of course, looking out to the industry for someone to coach me on how to do this professionally. And as they say, you know, the rest is history. I said goodbye to my professional career, a little over a year and a half ago. And today, you know, of course, run a very successful coaching and consulting business and just wake up every day inspired. And to me, it’s not work. It’s fun. I love what I do.
Lisa Patrick 9:24
Well, and that’s so important, Brad, because if we don’t love what you do, the passion doesn’t resonate with others. And if they can’t feel and believe in your passion and your mission and your mantra and your vision, I mean, we’re going to talk a little bit more about values and mission, right and how important that is when you’re driving a team. But it’s, you know, its core. And I think, you know, I work with a lot of professional speakers and authors and thought leaders and some of them have done a really good job at really understanding their core, right, who they are, what their values are, and the answer Still it each and every single day in their mantra and their mission and others not so much. But those that do succeed. And I’m not talking about succeed at this level I’m talking about at a high frequency of greatness. And it’s always, you know, when they reach here, it’s like, What’s the next one? What’s the next one? Right. But while they’re doing that, they’re also pushing everybody that follows them and everybody that works alongside them for frequencies right. And so that’s so important. Well, that’s a, that’s an amazing story, because I have not, I mean, clearly you and I have gotten to know each other and introduce through the coach Burt network. But I didn’t know your whole story. So thank you for that.
That’s very encouraging, especially, I think it’s important to when people start to step out and they move out of their transition out of their executive roles. Working with a few executives right now and push into the world of entrepreneurship and the world of thought leader and personal brand. It’s difficult, because you don’t have all these resources, you don’t have to be many more that you used to have back in you. Now you got to figure out where do I go? How do I do it? How do I navigate this? So what was the biggest challenge that you had? Brad, when you stepped out of your executive role? And you stepped into the world of Brad Blazar?
Brad Blazar 11:27
Well, you know, first and foremost, it was scary. But it was also very, very humbling, you know, when you write a book, and I’m just going to tell your audience, most people are lucky if they write a book to ever sell 50 to 100 copies. Most published authors never sell more than 50 to 100 copies of their book. I expected my mom, my siblings, my aunts and uncles, my closest personal friends to be some of the first people that would run out and buy my book. I mean, tickets on Amazon folks, just 20 bucks. And I sat back looking for sales. They didn’t come. Yeah. Now the reason of course.
Brad Blazar continues… 12:08
Well, but here’s the message, you know that I tell people Lisa, they never saw me as Brad Blaser the author. They’re like, Dude, why would I buy your book, you’re not an author. You don’t know anything about coaching people. You’re telling us you’re going to coach people and you’re going to build a multi-million dollar coaching Empire? What do you know about coaching, you’ve never done it before. And I just said there’s a bigger calling for me in life than doing what I’m doing. And I remembered literally hiring agents, hiring coaches like coach Burke, spending money I pay $5,000, to a guy in Israel, whose job was to put me on the biggest podcast in the world. I mean, I’ve been on Joel brown addicted to success in Australia, Carolina, Milan, and portio, chili, Benny Hoffman, Roland Frasier, business lunch, Brad Lea’s dropping bombs. And my wife looked at me because all she saw was money going out the door to promote my dream when I was building. And she said, Brad, you know, we don’t have insurance, you’re paying for a private insurance instead of what you used to get as a corporate employee, how much more money are you going to throw at this dream. And I said, if I have to throw another hundred thousand dollars at it, I’m going to throw another hundred thousand, this is who I want to be. This is my goal in life, it’s to impact and transform and change people. And today, when I tell people that I coach that they have to commit, unlike folks, many of you are dipping your toes in the water investing in your business.
You know, it’s like, it’s like dropping a pebble into the lake, I see ripples, I’m looking for tidal waves. I’m like, I just committed $30,000 to hire a couple guys to build me a whole bunch of funnels, if it don’t work out, it’s expensive tuition. But I’m investing in my future. If you’re not investing in yourself and your future, it shows me a lack of conviction. It shows me a lack of belief in yourself. And it shows me doubt. And so I believe that when you build you have to scale and scale quickly in one of the things that I learned very quickly as an entrepreneur building my oil company, Lisa, is you have to surround yourself with other people that share in the same mission and share in the same dream. And it was so very funny because very early in my coaching career, I actually was introduced to somebody not gonna mention any names. He’s a coach today had me on his podcast. And after he had me on his podcast, and we developed a relationship. He said, You know, you should hire me as your coach, I can help you so much. And I explained, you know, I’m already working with Coach Michael Burt, one of the best what can you teach me that Coach Burt can’t teach me and he said, Oh, I could teach you this. And I could teach you that. Now.
This guy was a very successful real estate agent and had built a very large book of business. And I just sat back and I said, What have you ever done to build a multi-million dollar oil company? You know, all you did is went out and bought a bunch of listings as a real estate agent. But I mean, if you actually scaled and had employees and payroll, and at the end of the day, I said, Thank you very much, but I’m just going to stick with Coach Burt. I know how to scale and build a business. Today, I’m so far ahead of where that dude is. It ain’t even funny. But he disowned me as a friend. He friended me on Instagram, he has not supported events that I and or others he knows in the coaching community have put together. So again, what does that tell me about a person’s integrity? You see the funny thing, and coach knows this. I show up at events, whether I’m speaking, or whether I’m not to support friends in my network, NATO for who you know, Cody Askins who, you know, 8% Nation, I’m not in the insurance business. But I was there, I bought a ticket VIP spent my 500 bucks, flew up there got a hotel, I mean, the whole event probably cost me 1000 $2,000. By the time I added my food in my hotel, it’s because I’m supporting my friends and those I care about. And what happens, they reciprocate, and they support and they help me. And so I believe that your true colors really shine through. And your true colors really define yourself. Because if you lead with value, and you find like you said your mission, your purpose and your why. And then you back that with conviction in with the tensity in with motion, you can transform your life. I was just on a call this morning with 60 or 80 people in a different network coaching them. And I said folks, you all have to come to my bounce back tore up in Laredo, Texas on the 24th. Either come live with a live event 50 bucks general mission or get a VIP or hell for 20 bucks, just join the live stream. We’re gonna have three cameras, different angles, and we’re going to have john chin.
He’s worked with the Napoleon Hill foundation and Sharon Lechter. To bring to you the Think and Grow Rich legacy. The movie I mean, my God, if you haven’t seen that, you got to see that, right? He’s going to be a speaker. I’ve got Sergio Bruna, the largest influencer in the Latino market. The guy is the global ambassador for General Motors is appeared in hundreds of commercials had his own late night TV show, the dude’s been interviewed by Larry King, how many people get on Larry King show, again, connections being around successful people. And so you know, when people ask me, you know, what’s your Why, what’s your purpose is I tell them and this comes out, of course of something that you and I have learned from Coach Berg, I believe to do great things in life Lee, so you have to have like coach Burt says a revelation. He tells a story about when he was a young kid, and his mom dropped him off and Little League somebody said to him, you’re gonna be a great coach someday, young man. Of course, today. He’s one of the best. My revelation my defining aha moment was when I was in the oil business. This was before the internet. This was before we posted jobs on indeed or monster or job boards. We posted them in the local paper. I was looking to hire somebody to come work for me as a salesperson. We got tons of resumes. And so one day, my my secretary buzzes my office and says Jack’s here for his interview. Now, let me remind your listeners I was in a prestigious office building, I had half the third floor around me I got big law firms CPA financial services, we’re all wearing professional business attire.
Brad Blazar continues… 18:42
This guy shows up for a job interview in a pair of jeans that had holes in the knees, work boots covered in dust and dirt, a flannel shirt. He had a mullet for a haircut like Billy Ray Cyrus or Joe Dirt if you saw the movie with David Spade and a beagle through Manchu mustache. And when he got out of couch and shook my hand, His hands were very callous and very rough. Now, for most people, the interview would have ended there at the front door, because most CEOs just would have written that dude off. But I didn’t.
There was something about him. that attracted me to him that I found out a little bit later, but I never forget what my grandparents told me and they said, Brad, people will forget your name. They might forget what you do, but they will never forget the way you make them feel. So being a kind person, I invited him in my conference room, gave him a cup of coffee just like I’m drinking here because of course the show is called coffee with Lisa. And after about 20 minutes, I said jack, why do you want to work here? And his response gave him the opportunity of his lifetime. His answer was because my wife and my daughter’s dreams are bigger than mine and I want to give them everything. And like they deserve. And I still choke up and get teary when I tell that story. It was that moment that I realized his purpose was bigger than himself. And I said, you can come back next week on Monday morning, you have a job, young man and he jumped out. He shook my hand. He hugged me. He said, Mr. Blaser, I’m so thankful. The funny thing is on Monday, after visiting my office, he showed up dressed not much better than he was the day of the interview. And so all Brad blazers sitting there going,
Oh, dude, man, you really screwed up this one, this guy’s get again on the phone and be talking to big time CEOs and entrepreneurs asking him to write checks for hundreds of thousands of dollars. And the poor kid don’t even own a suit. You really messed up on this one blazer. And then I sat back in my chair, and I suggest Come with me. We got in my Porsche. And I took them to a department store and I invested a few thousand dollars in this young man’s future, I treated him to two suits, shoes, belts, took them to my salon, we gave him a Hollywood Makeover. And then we came back to the office about four o’clock and my receptionist did not recognize them as the same man that left that morning. But the surprise was the next day when he walked through that door, wearing that suit. Man what a different person he was, I could see it in his presence, the way he was walking taller. Then I took him to the conference room gave him the scripting taught him how to close told him how we capitalize deals, told him what to say. And that year, he made a quarter million dollars. That was my revelation, my aha moment that brand blazer can change people’s lives, teach them how to sell. And then of course, I backed that with conviction over the years to do what I’m doing today. But it was really that revelation that said, I took a guy probably need no more than 40,50, 60 grand as a roughneck working out in the hot tech sun. And I turned him into a closer that today’s wearing a Rolex watch sitting in the corner office making a quarter million dollars a year?
Lisa Patrick 22:14
Well, and and, you know, you see, there’s a lot of points that we can touch on throughout that whole story. First of all, you know, you talk about a belief, it’s an it’s not you know, about don’t judge the book by its cover, right? It’s about I think a lot of a lot of of, you know, whether you’re an entrepreneur, you’re in the C suite, or you’re an HR professional, wherever it happens to be. The one question that most don’t ask is why do you want to work for me, they’re so focused on the talent and the hard skills that they forget the value and mission and mandate and purpose drive way more and bigger result ever all day long than technical skill, you can teach the technical skill, you cannot teach somebody focus and drive. You can help them and you cannot, you can’t teach it. So that’s a really valuable lesson for anybody who’s listening right now is that if you’re not asking your team’s, why do they want to work for you? Or why do they believe in the mission or the mandate of the company, then you’re doing yourself and you and your company and your team’s a disservice because they’re not going to belong to that organization. They’re not going to belong to them. And that’s so very important.
You know, you talked a little bit more about recognizing that when he walked through that door all of a sudden, that close, it’s not that the clothes made him any different, is it he just needed that confidence to walk in that door and say, Look at me and who I am. And you were that that activator for that? Right?
Brad Blazar 23:46
Absolutely. You know, you’re 100% right.
And, you know, I share this with people is part of my belief system, you know, as you and I know, it’s you know, leading with your beliefs. And if the other person you’re communicating to has similar beliefs, there’s going to be a natural attraction. And so largely went on the keynote, and I’m up on stage in front of a large audience. I’ll say I believe three things. I believe a good coach will motivate and inspire you. I will believe a good coach will ask you the hard questions. But I will also believe a good coach will get you to start doing things tomorrow, that you’re not doing today. And that’s where the transformation really takes place. That’s where jack was doing things daily. That because I was creating disciplines and habits that he wasn’t doing prior to showing up on the job. But you know, it goes one step beyond that. I get paid and I go in and I coach $2 billion companies I was called in last year to a company called PCL industrial, which, you know, does seven or 8 billion in sales, global company, their big contract and they had me come in to train their leadership team.
And what I learned there and what I’ve learned in talking to managers and CEOs, there’s There’s a big disconnect in the world and in corporate America between what managers think employees want to be motivated and inspired, and what the employees actually want, that the managers and leadership team don’t know, it’s not more money. Most managers think that my employees will be motivated by bigger paychecks, raises bonuses. That’s not what most employees want. It’s nice. But really what most employees want is recognition. They want praise, they want to be loved upon. And so in my second book, put some thrive in your hive, unlocking performance in any organization, I’ll put it here in the chat, which is also on Amazon, is I write about this disconnection in why most businesses fail or why 67% of your workforce is completely disengaged, if they don’t buy into the mission.
They’re not inspired. But more importantly, the leadership team or the management team is not understanding how to really push the right buttons. by praising and recognizing and providing things that those people look for in their lives. Just thinking Haley, so you make another sale, man, I’ll throw a couple extra hundred bucks in there for you. Well, you know, that dies off very quickly. But if you’ve got a sales team, and Lisa is called up to the next meeting in the front of the room, and she’s given an award that sits on her desk, for the next couple of weeks, until she has to give it to somebody else, which builds competition in that office, because Lisa wants to have it in her cubicle as long as she can before somebody gets to take it away, and take title to that recognition and that award. That’s what builds that positive culture. And that’s I think, what so many leaders and CEOs are missing today, it’s how to create this culture of accomplishment. It’s how to create this culture of competition, because most people are competitive. Okay? The way that you bring a competitive culture out in an organization is through recognition, through awards. And if you’re lacking that in your business, or in your company, you’ve got a culture that’s not inspiring people. And so input some thrive in your hive, what I share there is what certain businesses are doing today that are really allowing them to grow and flourish.
I mean, one company here in Texas has the silliest stupid thing. It’s called the taco award. And it is a statue of a bronze taco. But it is the most prized award this damn company has. And all you’re getting is the right to walk out to put in your cubicle, but it is given away on a quarterly basis and people bust their butts, to be given the bronze stock. Yeah. And sometimes it’s disappointing. But again, it let’s make it what it’s what makes all the difference in the world.
Lisa Patrick 27:58
Absolutely. Well, and I think too, here’s another concept that I believe so. And it doesn’t matter if you’re a team from anywhere, especially now we’ve got teams from anywhere, right? We’ve got people who are at home, people that are in the workplace, you know, we got virtual, you know, for God’s sakes, Google is, you know, not going back, probably ever, but at least till 2021, back to the to the workplace.
But one of the big things that teams really miss is you’re right, they needed they needed achievement, they need accomplishment, they be recognized. But here’s the thing is if the leader doesn’t actually allow a safe place for them to truly, truly show up as themselves, it don’t matter how good of an accomplishment you have, how good of an award system you have, what kind of sales compensation you have, what kind of money if the leaders are not creating places for people to belong and truly show up as themselves? The rest doesn’t matter. That’s what I truly and I think, you know, now especially now, it’s even the hurdle is even going to be bigger, because how do we create places where people feel they’re safe and belong when we’re virtual, and it all comes back to your ship. And I’m telling you folks, you know, Brad Meyer telling talking to you about this, if you do not become vulnerable and you do not show up as your real self, you’re going to be in trouble with your business. Never mind what you have, what best service you have. If you cannot belong and really show mission and vision and bring your authentic self you’re in trouble, period.
Brad Blazar 29:39
Absolutely. I could not endorse what you just said more.
In any business. Really what you have to do is spend time getting to know your employees and really understanding what motivates them what their goals and what their dreams are. And you know, when I was running my business, and even as the National Sales Director for multiple companies over the course of my career, I would always carve out what I called one on one time. And they were just one on one meetings, usually for no more than 30 minutes just to sit down with people and just really ask them, you know, How’s work going for you? What things can i or the company be doing to make your job easier. And then after chit chat for 20 minutes, it was now more towards personal you know how things going for you at home and how the kids you know, in one day realize that you care about them as a person, rather than as an employee, their belief in you goes through the roof, because it’s like, Man, that dude cares about my well being he’s got my family.
And, you know, I wasn’t the CEO of some of the companies I worked for I was, you know, the Executive Vice President, National Sales Director. But I can go back and tell you, I had so many people that knew I was going to bat for them that I had their back, there were certain situations where the CEO wanted to literally reduce people’s compensation. I said, You can’t do that, you’re not going to do that. And I as the person that do reports do ain’t going to let it happen. And then I would confide to that employee, what the CEO was trying to do, and say, you know, I got your back, buddy, it ain’t gonna happen. Because if it happens, I’m going to walk out the door, and he knows that I’ve got your back and your family and your family’s existence is important enough to me, and they would always say you got our backs, dude, you’re the guy that we work for. And we’re gonna bend over backwards to do whatever it takes to make you look good. Because we know that you care. And it’s the one on one time, that’s one thing that I think most leaders lack. It’s the ability like you said, Lisa, to become vulnerable. They’re given.
Lisa Patrick 31:48
And it’s all connected. The first step. So we just, I just launched a new company called Belongify.
It’s a system about how you put the wheat back in me in the right kind of way. Right? Well, and the thing is that the very first step in that system is connection. And it doesn’t matter if you’re running a team, you know, you and I both know, we’ve got, you know, some amazing circles and networks, you know, we’re on stage speaking to one to 1000 people, you know, we’re correct. We’re writing books, we’ve got courses, we’ve got all those great things. But at the end of the day, it does not matter. If you do not make connections, whether it’s with a team, or with somebody across the room that you’re going to go and shake hands with connection is the most important thing. I always say, I will give up my money, but I will never give up my network. Right? Because it takes a lot of time, energy and resources. And when you’re truly yourself and like you talked about earlier, right? I mean, kudos to you. I love what you said, You said that you amplify and lift your competitors. Because you know, in lots of ways, your network and my network are our competitors. But we don’t see each other as competitors, right, we’re there, we’re in the trenches with them, we’re helping them grow their, their vision and their mission, their personal brands, their businesses, because we recognize that we need to put the knee back in we in the right kind of wait. And that starts not just with your team, but with your network. So we can hear from Richard Richard says, How do you I think he meant to say scale, the safety management function within an organization. So back to psychological safety, right in your organization? How do you how? Brad,
Brad Blazar 33:40
I think that when you look at the psychological safety in an organization that allows people to open up and communicate, it’s really letting them know that anything that they share with you, is basically you know, protected. It’s kind of like, you know, attorney client privilege. And I tell people that you know, I want to let you know that whatever we discuss whatever we share today, Lisa stays between the two of us in the confines of these walls, you can you can feel safe in opening up. And I mean, I’ve had people that have worked under me, literally, I mean, can find like I was a priest, you know, hey, they’re having relationship problems at home. You know, their wife is thinking about walking out the door. I mean, all kinds of stuff. Kids are on drugs. It’s amazing that when you have that safety, where people really have trust, and I think it comes down to trust, and really building that trust over time where people can confide in you as a manager, as a CEO, as a supervisor. It really builds the relationship because I tell people look you know, you’re a direct report, and I want you know that you can come to me for anything. If you need money if you need time off family comes first you know, I say it’s gone family and then of course your work your employment so you know if you need some time off, do You come and you tell me, so many people are scared to go to their supervisor or go to the person that they actually report to, and actually ask for that time off that they so desperately need. And what does that do? It builds up, it creates stress, I don’t want someone working. For me, that’s under a bunch of stress.
Why? Because stress causes disease, it’s one of the leading contributors to heart attacks. And so I just tell people, look, if you need a couple days off, or you need a week off to take care of this other family situation, do just ask for the time off, okay, we’ll figure it out. You know, yes, we have our policies and procedures. And if it goes beyond that, we’re work around it. But at the end of the day, I want you to be happy here. Because I want a bunch of happy employees, I want a bunch of people that like showing up for work, I want a bunch of people that are here for the mission, you’re here for the purpose, and that are more importantly, inspired by what we do. And when you build that type of culture, and you create that safety, where people are to be open, that’s how the company is going to grow. And that’s how the company is going to thrive. It’s really communicating that the other that I’m a big believer in, is you’ve got to post and you’ve got to make sure that every employee in that business understands the corporate mission. So many companies so many CEOs don’t even know what their mission in business is.
Lisa Patrick 36:17
Absolutely 100% I think you have to do the work and and it’s interesting, because you know, you and I run in the personal branding space right now. And one of the biggest I think downfalls of those that are really trying to push in, whether they’re exiting out of corporate or they’re already in the in this space, trying to grow their influence, trying to grow awareness, to grow their brand, is that they forget that at the end of the day, it’s about your mission, in your vision in your brand. If you don’t know what you believe in, how will anybody believe in you? Great, you need a coach, you need what you believe in. And when you believe, and somebody else believes in the same thing, I believe, then we’re unstoppable. Right? And so, you know, Dana and Jen, Jen and Craig Allen in here. And we’ve got to zoom in here. And and you know, you guys, show us a one if you know, put a one in the comments if you believe the same as we believe, because it’s important that at the end of the day, we do believe in the same and when we believe the same everything else is in can overcome it. You know, that’s a conversation. Yeah, right. That’s a contribution that needs to take place. Richard says, Thank you skill. Yes. Thank you for your answer. You know, you your brand is called build the beast. So let’s talk a little bit like how did build a beast really, truly come about? Brad? Like, how did that come about?
Brad Blazar 37:52
Yeah, well, when I started writing my book, I did something that today I realized was brilliant, but I didn’t realize it. Kind of like how did your book become number one? or How did your podcasts become the second highest rated podcast? According to Yahoo Finance, Yahoo News, I did something and that was I actually trademarked a phrase. And I trademarked this phrase, which was my belief called the art of belief ology. The arguably far ology in simplest terms, or in concept is simply if you change your beliefs, you can dramatically transform your future, because your beliefs define your reality. And so by getting people to understand that the beliefs they have about themselves, the beliefs they have about their future, and also then the disciplines or the habits that they do daily, will dramatically transform themselves over time. And so when we trademarked the art of belief ology, I didn’t realize that what I was doing with brilliance because now of course, we can license that to other coaches. It’s a trademark concept.
It really came down to the belief system. And we actually have what we call belief bracelets, just like, you know, Lance Armstrong had that we give out at our events that on there, say basically change your beliefs change your life, it comes down to the thought that one idea, one thing you learn at an event or from a coach or a mentor, that you back with intensity and with action can dramatically change or transform your future. I mean, I’ve seen it happen in my own personal life. I’ve seen it happen in the lives people we coach, one of my coaching students now is doing business with some of the biggest names in music like Sheryl Crow, and Wynonna Judd and asleep at the wheel and citizen code, as all as a result of some introductions that we made on her behalf and she realized that once the door opened and the opportunity presented itself, man, she jumped right through it today. She’s doing great, but you know, people look at hiring a coach or hiring a mentor as an expense and I tell them It’s not an expense, it’s an investment. You’re not doing this for me, I don’t need your money. I can’t tell you how many dozens of people have come to me since cobit, and said, I can’t continue to pay you. And I said, great, but I want to let you know that we’re not going to let you go out of our coaching program. We don’t give up on people. And they stay in. And what happens is they get the coaching, they get to a better place. And after a couple months, they reengage and they call me say, Brad, hey, I can start making up those payments to you. Great, you know, we’re not asking for it, I want to make sure you’re comfortable. But I tell people that once you commit to me, I commit back to you and the fact that you may want out because you perceive you can’t pay, don’t mean we’re given up on you. And I think that again, gets back to what you were saying before, and that’s where someone’s real colors truly shine. They’re like, you’re going to continue coaching me without getting paid. Absolutely, dude, because now you need me more in your life than ever before. You know what deeply sad as me as I talk to so many people that are middle aged in their late 30s 40s professionals. And when we start talking about the price of my coaching, it saddens me, these people can’t even afford 325 bucks a month to invest in themselves, let alone they even have $10,000 in savings. And here you are a 40-year-old middle-aged person. Unlike dude, the first thing you need to focus on is six to nine months in emergency savings for these life disasters. What’s going to happen with the transmission goes out in your car next week? And they’re like, I don’t know.
Understanding and shaping consumer behavior in the new normal. What does that look like?
No one has a crystal ball to tell us what the future will hold. However, we can make some educated guesses.
Michael joins me to open season 3 of the Coffee With Lisa podcast to discuss what he believes are some of the fundamental human motivations that are likely to drive preferences and behaviors in The New Normal.
Michael Solomon is a Professor of Marketing at Saint Joseph’s University in Philadelphia, author, speaker, and industry consultant. He’s worked with clients in verticals such as apparel and footwear (Calvin Klein, Levi Strauss, Under Armour, Timberland), financial services (eBay, Progressive), CPG (Procter & Gamble, Campbell’s), retailing (H&M), manufacturing (DuPont, PP&G) and transportation (BMW, United Airlines) to make them more consumer-centric.